Brick by Lisa Lang Blakeney

Kaya

“Whew!”

I try catching my breath as I stumble into the nearby Smoothie Queen. Any person who ever said that they love when they hit their runner’s high is a bold face liar. I don’t think such a thing exists. I can’t feel my legs and my heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest.

I hate running.

“Can I help you?” the cashier asks as I tilt my head up to read the menu.

“What’s the best tasting green smoothie you have?”

“I have no idea,” she answers in the most disinterested nasal voice I’ve ever heard.

“But… you work here.”

“I’m a cashier, not a taste tester.”

Why these places hire angry teenagers to serve the public is beyond me.

“Just give me a medium green machine,” I say, thankful my heart rate is finally lowering.

“That’ll be $8.99.”

“For celery juice?” I ask, shocked by the price tag. I’m not used to million dollar health food and frankly, I can’t afford it.

“You don’t get out much, huh?” she chuckles sarcastically in the annoying way that only teenage girls do. “This is how much smoothies cost. In fact, the smoothie place three miles down charges ten bucks for a medium. You’re actually getting a bargain.”

It figures that the snarky teeny-bopper has no opinion about the taste of her smoothies, but knows all about the market price for them.

I plunk a sweaty ten-dollar bill down on the counter that I’ve pulled out of my exercise bra, and the girl saunters off to make my drink.

When my phone rings, I smile once I see that it’s my brother Kyle.

“Hello?”

“Hey, big head.”

“Hey, yourself.”

“Whatcha doing?”

“Exercising.”

He pretends to clear his throat in a fit full of laughter.

“You’re what?”

“I went for a run,” I say defensively, annoyed that he’s laughing at me. To say I’m sensitive about the size of my hips, butt and thighs is an understatement.

“In February? It’s cold as monkey balls out there.”

“What does the time of year have to do with anything? People exercise outside all year round.”

“So you’re still trying to stick to the whole New Year’s resolution thing?”

“It’s an intention, not a resolution, and don’t come for me because you weren’t able to keep your no smoking resolution for more than two days. I’m determined to lose this last fifteen pounds before you walk down the aisle, and you could stand to lose a few yourself, or do you want to stand at the altar with a beer belly?”

My brother is getting married in a few weeks to his longtime girlfriend, Dena, and I’m standing up with him. Ever since he asked me, I’ve been super excited but I’m also obsessed with how little time I have to lose these thunder thighs of mine.

“Relax, sensitive Sally. You sound just like Mommy.”

“Don’t say that!”

“I’m all for being healthy, but don’t let that asshole get into your head, Kay.”

The asshole my brother is referring to is my boyfriend, Elijah. My brother doesn’t like him.

“He’s not in my head,” I assure my brother.

“He tells you you’re fat all the time. How can that not affect how you feel about yourself?”

“He doesn’t tell me I’m fat. You’re just making things up because you don’t like him, just like you’ve never liked any guy I’ve been with. No one is good enough for you.”

“There are plenty of men out there who are good for you. He’s just not one of them. Do I have to remind you about all that back and forth you went through with him about making you get off birth control pills because you were gaining weight? That’s a pretty clear-cut message to me. He was saying you were fat, which you aren’t, by the way.”

“That’s not how I interpreted it.”

“Is that right, baby sis’? Then why are you outside doing the exercise you hate the most in the freezing ass cold?”

“What do you really want, Kyle?” I ask annoyed with the conversation and so ready to change the subject. “I’m busy.”

“You know that I love you, right?”

“Okay, now I’m worried. Did someone die?”

“I talked to Brick today.”

I feel something sharp twist in the pit of my stomach when my brother mentions his name.

I haven’t heard it in a while.

“And you’re telling me because?”

“Because his schedule has suddenly freed up.”

Oh no.

“Wait, a ding dang minute. Are you kicking me out of the wedding and putting him in my place?”

“Absolutely not.”

“I don’t understand. A groom only has one best man, Kyle.”

“The bride can have a maid and a matron of honor, so why can’t I have two people standing up for me too?”

“Dena doesn’t have a matron of honor, only a maid of honor.”

“You know what I mean. I’m saying it wouldn’t be unheard of to have two people stand up for me.”

“So let me get this straight. You don’t hear from that jerk for months at a time yet you still ask him to be a part of your wedding? Then, he doesn’t give you a definitive answer about it for months, but calls you at the eleventh hour to tell you he’s going to do it?”

“It’s not the eleventh hour.”

“In wedding time it is! You’re getting married in three weeks.”

“Stop holding childish crap against him, Kay. He’s my oldest friend and I want him there with no drama from you.”

All my brother knows about that day at the pep rally is that Brick and I fell out over John Dixon. He knows nothing about the kiss and never will.

“I thought I was your oldest friend?” I say, throwing back the words my brother has told me a million times over our lifetimes.

“Can you cut me some slack? I have enough to deal with regarding this wedding. Dena and I are arguing more than we ever have in our entire relationship. She wants to spend more money than we have, but I don’t want to tell her no. It’s the biggest day in her life and I want to give her everything she wants, but I also want to be able to buy groceries afterwards. We’ll be broke!”

Kyle is a commercial plumber and makes a good living, but he isn’t rolling in cash. Neither of them can really afford the wedding they’re having, but I think my brother is willing to put the whole thing on his credit cards because Dena put up with a lot from him over the years.

The way I think he is rationalizing it is that giving Dena the wedding of her dreams is his atonement for all the crap he put her through over the years. That’s fair though. I have no sympathy for him either. But Kyle is also right about one thing: I’m acting like a brat right now. After all, this is his big day too, and he should be able to have anyone he wants there without any interference from me. The bad blood between me and Brick was a million years ago.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. It’s just that I thought I’d be standing up there with you by myself,” I say in an apologetic tone. “I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

“If only you could be that cooperative all the time,” he responds sarcastically.

“Can I hang up now?”

“There’s one more thing.”

“Kyle, I’m not wearing that ugly dress.”

Dena and my mom want me to wear the ugliest lavender dress, which would not complement anyone’s shape, in my opinion. I think Dena picked it because it matches her purple hydrangea flower arrangements, but it’s awful. Thankfully, I was able to convince her to at least give me a chance to show her how a tailored tuxedo will look so much better. My mom, on the other hand, is having a Generation X hissy fit about it.

“It’s not about the dress. That fight is over as far as I’m concerned.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m throwing a small pre-wedding thing at my place tonight and I need you to come.”

“This is very last minute. What kind of thing?”

“It’s for Brick. He flew into town tonight, and I wanted a few of us to welcome him home.”

Holy hell, he’s here?

“If it’s not wedding mandatory, I rather skip it.”

“Seriously, Kay? You can hold a grudge like no one I’ve ever seen.”

“I’m not holding a grudge. I’m just not interested in coming.”

“But you just finished saying that you’d do whatever I wanted.”

“I’ll do whatever wedding things you want.”

“This is a wedding thing.”

“I don’t want to come. Don’t make me,” I basically whine.

“I swear I don’t understand you. You’ve known Brick your entire life. He’s more than a friend. He’s like family.”

Not my family.

Not even close.

“I thought he was some big football star in New York City now? Why would his highness be gracing our presence with an early visit? Why not just show up at the resort for the ceremony?”

“He just had a bad breakup and I think he wants to come home to regroup before the wedding. He probably needs to be around people who give a shit about him. From what I hear, New York City can be a lonely place because there are so many people. Everyone kind of just keeps their heads down and lives their lives on autopilot, no one really getting a chance to connect with anyone else.”

Oh, boo hoo for him.

“I’m sure seeing you will be enough connection for him. I don’t see why you need me there.”

“Brick isn’t the only one who needs some face time with people. You need to do more things and expand your friend circle, Kay. You’re spending way too much time indoors with he whose name will not be mentioned.”

“What are you talking about? I’m out now making friends and drinking smoothies.”

The cashier raises an eyebrow as she slides my drink across the counter to me. She hands me my change and something about her judgmental stare makes me feel uncomfortable, so I dump the change inside the tip jar. Why I care about what some seventeen-year-old girl thinks of me is probably one of my many issues.

“Thanks,” she manages to offer me a small smile as I walk out of the store and back outside.

“Damn!” I exclaim as soon as a gust of frigid air swipes the back of my neck.

“What?” Kyle asks with concern.

“I swear it’s dropped about ten degrees out here.”

“I told you,” he laughs with relief. “It’s too cold for that running nonsense. If you’re serious about the whole exercise thing, why don’t you join a gym like everyone else?”

I take a sip of my drink.

Not smart.

It only makes me colder, and it tastes like grass, celery and honey mixed together. I could make a better one with my eyes blindfolded.

“I’ll call you later, Kyle. I’m about to speed walk home before my fingers fall off.”

“Tonight at seven. My place. Don’t be late.”

“Is Elijah invited too?” I ask, hoping that gets him to back off, already knowing that Elijah can’t come because he has a shift tonight.

“Nope.”

“Then I’m not coming.”

“If you don’t come, I’ll call Ma and tell her why you’re off the pill.”

“Mom thinks I’m a virgin.”

“You can’t honestly believe that?” he boisterously laughs.

“Not unless you told her I wasn’t!” I gasp.

“Bro’, she found a condom in your room like three years ago and called me panicking. I calmed her down and told her it was one of mine, but we all know that makes zero sense and our mother ain’t stupid.”

“You never even told me that story. You’re despicable.”

“That’s why you love me and stop changing the subject. You’re coming tonight.”

I love my big brother, in fact he’s my best friend in the world, but this is just mean. He knows that I haven’t told my Mom about my issues with Elijah. She was so elated when I finally brought someone serious home to meet her; I know she’d be crushed to find out that he’s not exactly the kind of boyfriend I’ve made him out to be.

Sure, I bet in a faraway land there are millions of daughters who can actually tell their mothers the truth about their relationships, but knowing mine, she’d figure out a way to make it my fault. She’d tell me to work it out because of how frightened she is of the marriage statistics for single women of color and of me being alone for the rest of my life. And that’s a conversation I don’t want to have.

“You’re bluffing,” I challenge Kyle.

“I’m going by the house in an hour to mount her new flat screen TV on the wall. Should I pick you up on the way and we tell her together?”

“You’re an asshole!”

“Am I? Hmm, I wonder what mom and I will chat about while her favorite son mounts her brand new TV?” he taunts. “I’m sure your name will come up as it always does. And then it’ll be just a matter of time before she asks about he who will not be named.”

“If you still lived at home, I swear I’d put shaving cream in your favorite pair of Air Jordan’s then shove them in the oven.”

A prank I pulled once when Kyle used to live at home.

“I knew you did it!”

“Who else would have done it, Einstein? Mom?”

“But you lied so convincingly. You even cried.”

“Thank you,” I say with a smile. “The ability to cry on demand is a gift.”

“Just for that, you’re going to bring some wings tonight.”

“I live on a poor legal assistant’s salary. I don’t have any extra money to buy wings for your random ass party.”

“You live at home with our mother and don’t pay for squat. Plus, I don’t want you to buy them from a chicken spot. I want you to impress my friends and make your famous garlic Parmesan wings.”

“Kyle, those wings take a lot of time, and I was planning on a relaxing day of reading and maybe some online gaming.”

“Plans change, nerd. You’re the best woman in my wedding and it’s your responsibility to handle things like this. Hell, I don’t know why we’re having a debate about it. You told me–”

“Fine!” I cut him off, knowing exactly where he’s headed with this.

I wanted Kyle to finally pick a wedding date after his excruciatingly long engagement so badly, that I promised him I’d handle Dena’s Bridezilla tendencies if he’d just take the plunge, a duty I’ve kind of dropped the ball on.

“I’ll come and I’ll bring a tray of wings with me,” I tell him. “A small tray.”

“Wise decision, big head. See you at seven.”

“Bye, snitch, and you’ll see me whenever I get there.”

***

When I arrive at my house, I’m freezing. I place the grossest green smoothie ever made inside my refrigerator, knowing I’ll never drink it, but I do it because the thought of pouring ten dollars down the drain doesn’t sit well with me. Afterwards, I make myself a jumbo sized mug of hot black tea with two heaping spoonfuls of honey and pointlessly dwell on the money I just wasted on the smoothie. Which reminds me that I need to check the balance of my bank account.

I open my laptop and visit my bank’s website. I login hoping to see a pending deposit.

Please, please, please.

Ugh, there’s nothing. My balance still sits at $130.49, the same as yesterday and the day before that.

I work as a virtual assistant for a lawyer who is a friend of the family, Mr. Solomon. He was a friend of my late father’s and has been in my life for as long as I can remember. I was only ten years old when my father was mugged and died from a catastrophic bleed to the brain. I blame my struggle with his brutal death for not living up to my potential in school. I was smart, but because I battled with grief and depression, I only did just enough to get by. After graduation, I tried going to the local community college for a while but felt lost there too, and that’s when Mr. Solomon offered me a job as his virtual assistant.

The pay isn’t fantastic, but it’s more than I would make at McDonald’s. That’s, of course, when Mr. Solomon actually pays me on time. The downside of working for a friend of the family is that he can pay me whenever he wants and there’s not too much I can say about it. I can hear my mother’s judgmental voice now if I did.

Don’t you dare embarrass me and complain about your job, Kaya. Bruce has been nothing but good to us since your father’s passing.

Well, I guess that means I can’t buy a pair of new jeans for tonight. I’m going to have to dig into the back of my closet and try to make something old look new again. It’s kind of silly that I’m even worried about how I look for a small gathering at my brother’s house, but I will not give Brick the satisfaction of catching me on an “off” day. It’s bad enough that I actually don’t have my life together. The least I can do is pretend like I do.