Distracted by A.K. Evans
FOUR
Ellery
“So, what did you think?”
I had been wrong.
So very wrong.
And the truth was that I was the kind of woman who could admit when she’d made a mistake. There was no question I’d made my fair share of them, even if there were some I’d make again for the sake of my family.
Fortunately, this mistake wasn’t one that I really had a problem admitting that I’d made. That was likely because even though it might have been embarrassing if I’d confessed my thoughts out loud, what I thought I knew wasn’t entirely true.
I’d unfairly judged Kane.
There. That was it.
I’d walked into this room, been introduced to him, and made a judgment about the kind of guy he was based on his looks.
Or, maybe it was the way he looked at me.
Either way, he’d proved just how wrong I’d been about him.
While I couldn’t technically confirm the accuracy of my initial impression of him just yet, it was safe to say that there was a lot more to him that I had anticipated.
I certainly hadn’t expected all that I’d gotten.
He had seemed so intense and focused when I first came into the room with Avalon, but I quickly learned that he was anything but menacing. He was not only knowledgeable about what he was teaching and excellent at both communicating and demonstrating it, but there was also something very laidback about him. Initially, I’d assumed Jake was the more relaxed one, but it seemed they were both just as easygoing.
Of course, then I started to realize that it was probably the result of them understanding the job they had to do.
They might not have known my reason for being here, and while it was entirely possible that many of the men and women in the room were simply looking for self-defense skills for the sake of it, I recognized the fact that there was a very strong possibility that there were women there who were in bad situations.
At that realization, it came as no surprise that Kane, Jake, or anyone else who might teach these classes would have to find a way to be approachable and friendly.
Truth be told, I was grateful to have found a place like Harper Security Ops. From the moment I walked in until now, it was clear to me that my research had led me to the best place for me to be for what I intended to accomplish.
It was just this one small thing that was posing a problem.
Kane.
I hadn’t been prepared for it when it happened about halfway through the class. He moved toward me after demonstrating something with Jake. He was walking through the room to help everyone with their execution of the move. I’d just performed the move when he approached me.
That’s when he smiled.
At me.
And it was that smile that did me in. It was that smile that forced me to see just how wrong I’d been about him.
Kane’s smile completely transformed him. Not only did he appear less threatening, but it made his eyes sparkle. Eyes that had been so dark and intense when I first arrived were suddenly so much brighter. They were still just as intense and captivating, but it was in a completely different way.
“That was excellent,” he praised me before moving on through the rest of the students in the room.
And for the remainder of the class, I found myself frequently recalling that look on his face.
Now that class was over, I was face-to-face with Kane once again. And this time, it didn’t seem that he was interested in saying just three words before moving on. He was inviting conversation by asking what I thought of the class.
In an effort to not look like a fool, I didn’t hesitate to respond. “It was a great first class. I really enjoyed it.”
“That’s good news. I’m happy to hear it. Does that mean you’ll be stopping by Avalon’s desk on your way out to sign up for more?” he asked.
Nodding, I confirmed, “It does. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course, it is,” he replied, an edge of disbelief in his tone that I could even think to suggest it wouldn’t be alright. “Do you have any questions about anything you learned today?”
“I’m certain that I do, but I can’t seem to remember any of them at the moment.”
And that was the truth. Even though they’d done a wonderful job teaching, this was all so very new to me. Throughout the class, I questioned if I was doing something correctly, but I didn’t ask. Now that Kane was this close to me with his eyes sparkling like that, I couldn’t seem to remember anything I’d learned, let alone whether or not I’d had any questions about any of it.
He let out a soft laugh and insisted, “That’s okay. As time goes on and you take more and more classes, you’ll find that some things become like second nature and others take a bit more to grasp. We’ll be here to help you every step of the way.”
I ignored the fact that he’d laughed at something I said to him and replied, “Let’s hope none of you regret taking me on. I promise I’m going to give it all I’ve got, but this is a whole new world for me.”
Something moved through his expression while he hesitated briefly, but eventually he assured me, “We won’t regret anything. As long as you’re learning, that’s all that matters.”
“Thanks,” I murmured.
I didn’t want things to get awkward or uncomfortable, and the reality was not only was taking a self-defense class new territory for me, but so was having a conversation with a guy like this.
Sure, I’d had friends throughout high school and even in college. I’d also had a boyfriend back in high school that I dated for just over a year. And obviously, there was the whole fact that I’d been married.
But that was different.
That didn’t count, because that was something that I had done only for the sake of my family.
Having a friendly conversation with a guy just for the sake of it wasn’t something I’d done at all in my adult life. It was nice to be experiencing it, but I didn’t want to ruin it.
So, before I had the chance to make a fool of myself, I decided it would be best to excuse myself and get out of there.
But just as I was about to do that, Kane asked, “So, what are your goals?”
“Pardon?”
He offered a sweet smile. “Here. What are your goals with regard to self-defense? You’ve made it clear that you’re planning to return, but I was just wondering if you’re only looking for the type of training you learned today or if you’re also interested in weapons training.”
Understanding dawned, and while I didn’t want to make myself look completely helpless, I also thought it was especially prudent to be honest in this case. “I’m so far away from being ready for that,” I admitted. “But that’s not to say that I’m not interested in learning. I am. I just think it’s wise for me to take this one step at a time.”
The smile on his face grew. “There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow. You can get yourself comfortable with one method of self-defense before moving on to the next. I think that’s really smart of you to do, Ellery.”
Until he said it, I hadn’t realized how much I would like the sound of my name coming past his lips. And I found that to be particularly strange.
It was one thing for me to be able to see him and appreciate his looks and kindness. It was something else entirely to feel heat move through my body when he said my name.
My throat tightened, and I rasped, “I’m glad that you, as the professional, agree with me waiting just a bit longer.”
He tipped his head to the side, assessed me, and said, “Well, I don’t want to hold you up here or delay you any longer. I just wanted to see what you thought, make sure you wanted to come back, and offer my help.”
“Your help?” I repeated.
Kane nodded. “Yes. Like we said a few times throughout class, this can be challenging, if not frustrating, for some people when they first start. If you find that’s the case for you, or if you just want a little extra instruction, please don’t hesitate to ask me. It’s what I’m here for.”
“I just don’t want to look like a fool,” I noted.
His features softened before he countered, “How does that saying go? The only stupid question is the one that never gets asked, right?”
God, he was making this easy.
I probably could have done something incredibly embarrassing, and Kane would have likely found a way to convince me it was anything but.
“You’re being very kind,” I told him.
“I’m just speaking the truth,” he argued. “In all seriousness, though, I hope you don’t stop yourself from reaching out to me if you need any help with anything. I’d rather you be certain that you know what you’re doing when it counts than for you to be worried about me, or anyone else who works here, laughing at you for wanting to be sure about your safety.”
There it was.
More proof that coming here had been the best decision I could have made in the last eight years.
“I promise I’ll come to you if I have any questions or need any extra help,” I said.
A proud look washed over his face. “Good.”
As much as I was enjoying talking to Kane, I had a feeling that this was where the conversation was going to end. So, I declared, “Well, I should go back to the front desk to see Avalon and complete whatever paperwork she needs me to fill out. Thank you, Kane, for not only allowing me to stand in on this class, but also for talking to me about it afterward. I’m feeling very good about my decision to come here.”
“You’re welcome, Ellery. I’ll see you soon, right?”
I smiled at him, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in a long time, and promised, “You will.”
The next thing I knew, I was walking out of the training room to head toward the reception desk. And as I did that, I didn’t know that Kane’s sparkling eyes watched me as I left.
By the time I made it to Avalon’s desk, I was doing everything I could to tame my unwarranted nerves. My encounter with Kane, even if completely innocent and professional on his part, left me feeling a bit out of sorts.
Nothing about it was bad. In fact, it was quite the opposite.
But I was at a loss for how to handle myself now. Life hadn’t exactly set me up for easily managing a situation like this. Because I was in desperate need of the knowledge and expertise that Kane and the team at Harper Security Ops had, and I didn’t need to be focusing on things like how much I enjoyed hearing him say my name. My attention needed to be on the moves and skills I would be taught, not on the way Kane’s shirt strained against the muscles on his chest, shoulders, and arms as he moved or the butterflies I felt in my belly when he smiled at me.
This was about priorities, and my safety was what was at the top of that list.
Right.
Forget about wants. I knew how to do that. I’d given up on so much already. What was one more thing?
“How’d it go?”
My eyes shot to Avalon. “Great.”
She cocked an eyebrow and asked, “Great enough that you want to continue?”
I dipped my chin. “Yes. Yes, I’d like to sign up for some self-defense classes,” I answered.
“Perfect. I’ve got a bunch of paperwork here I’ll need you to complete. Please note that this is all confidential and that we do not share any of your information with anyone,” she stated.
For some reason, I hadn’t even considered that as an option. Something about this place—through the research I’d done and the experience I’d just had—indicated that I wouldn’t have anything to worry about when it came to them being discreet.
“That’s awesome. Thank you,” I said, taking the clipboard from her.
“You can grab a seat over there while you fill them out, if you’d like,” Avalon urged. “Once you’re done, I’ll go over all the specifics of the available class times and the options you have for other services we provide that you might be interested in.”
“Okay. Just give me a minute to get this done then,” I replied.
After snatching up a pen, I moved toward the seating area just inside the front door and sat down. I was grateful for the task, since it took my mind off of Kane and the strange but not unwelcome new feelings that being around him evoked.
When I finished a few minutes later, I returned to Avalon’s desk, where she did just as she promised and went over all of the options I had for taking more classes. As it turned out, Harper Security Ops offered classes throughout the day to accommodate the schedules of everyone who would be interested in using their services.
In addition, Avalon had shared how things would work when it came to weapons training, but for the time being, she knew that I was content to stick with the self-defense classes.
And finally, she did share that they offered private classes in the event that I believed I’d benefit better from having one-on-one instruction instead of being in the group setting. While there was a part of me that believed a one-on-one session would be beneficial simply because I’d have that concentrated attention from an instructor, there was the other part of me that believed it might not be a good idea.
I mean, how would that have even worked?
Avalon said it was a private class that would give me one-on-one instruction. Who would that be with? Would it be Jake one time and Kane the next? Would it be with the other guys Avalon had mentioned earlier in the day that I had yet to meet?
Or would I have been with the same person? Did I get to choose who I worked with? Most of all, if I wound up working with Kane, would I even be able to handle that?
Realizing just how important it was that I got the training I needed, I made a decision right there on the spot to decline any private classes. It was just too risky, and I didn’t need to take any chances with this.
But since I believed I needed as much instruction as I could get, I didn’t hesitate to jump at the chance for more group classes.
“Looks like I’ll be back again tomorrow morning,” I told her as I put my wallet back inside my purse.
“That sounds great, Ellery. We’re looking forward to working with you and helping you achieve your goals. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she returned.
With that, I said goodbye and walked out of the building.
Then I drove back to the tiny home community and made my way to the Steel Hideaway house I was staying in. I wanted to be able to say I did something particularly fun and exciting, and I guess to some extent, it was for me. But all I did was some online shopping since I didn’t have much clothing at my disposal, and I added my new self-defense classes to my calendar.
When I wasn’t busy doing anything else, though, I found my thoughts were stuck on one of two different things. Either I was wondering how Patrick reacted when I didn’t ever come home last night, or I was recalling the sweet looks that Kane had given me today.
Suffice it to say that neither one of those things was good for my mental state.
Because one of them left me feeling terrified while the other left me feeling longing. And it was because of the one that I knew I’d never be able to explore the other.
Nothing made me feel sadder than that.