Remotely Love by Lori Thorn
Chapter1
Ask for Feedback
“Asking for feedback is a great practice in any work environment but can be easy to overlook, especially in a remote workplace.”
One Year Earlier…
The room was growing dark,and the glare from the computer screen washed over Hazel’s face. Her cursor was hovering over an email that had announced its arrival with a swooshing sound. It was late, and she was ready to leave for the day but was stymied by that sound, her heart immediately catching in her throat. This email, whatever it said, would impact her career at FutureApp.
She clicked it.
The white of the email shifted the screen’s brightness to a higher intensity causing her to squint her eyes. “We’re sorry to inform you that, at this time, we’ve decided to move forward with other candidates. We encourage you to keep applying with the Training Team when future opportunities are posted.”
Fuck.
She felt angry and ashamed for crying over a job rejection, but she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. All her energy was suddenly raw and displaced. Not knowing exactly what to do with herself, she re-opened Chatter, the chat client FutureApp employees used, and scrolled through her list of conversations until finding the one with Sam. He was offline, but she messaged him anyway, “I didn’t get it.” She waited a few minutes to see if, by chance, he might see it and reply, but no such luck.
Sam had been her mentor since she started at FutureApp, nearly 6 years ago, so she could imagine what he would say. It would feel so much better hearing it from him instead of inside her head in his voice. Ugh. She’d have to tell Tamra, her new boss, tomorrow too. She wondered how that conversation would go, but soon the let-down became too much to think about.
The darkness in the room enveloped her as she closed the laptop. She sat there for a few more minutes, numb, not really thinking. Then stood up and walked out of the office.
She awokethe next morning feeling slightly better. Recalling her Mom’s old words of wisdom, “Sleep on it, Hazel. If it’s a big decision you’re making or if things feel rough, remember to sleep on it.” She had zombied herself through the rest of the evening, even wholly ignoring a text Rosie had sent inviting her out for Sangria. Mom’s advice had held true; she could at least think a little clearer after she slept. She made a note to reply to Rosie later and explain.
She caught her eyes in the mirror as she pulled a comb through her hair. She smiled at herself and then stuck her tongue out, which made her smirk. Despite this setback, she knew she was slowly healing from the hardness of the past couple of years. She could see it in the mirror looking back at her. Her skin was healthier, her eyes brighter than they had been. She could now put things in perspective instead of circling into the abyss.
She reminded herself that despite not getting the Training position she had tried so hard to attain, she still had a good job.
It was going to suck today, though.
The thought brought a weak smile to her lips.
She delayed logging in for as long as possible, first, by way of making her coffee as complicated as she could, even frothing the creamer. Then, when she found she still wasn’t ready to face talking to anyone just yet, by going on her daily walk early.
9am still came, though, and it brought enough pressure that she logged in to face the day. She settled into her chair, opened the laptop lid, and signed into the VPN. Hazel usually had a routine to keep her day structured, beginning with checking her Calendar and replying to emails. However, she had also never logged in to find she had 12 Chatter notifications. Every one of them from Sam.
Hazel Rogers
I didn’t get it. 8:13pm
Sam Pierce
They are really going to miss out on the best person for the role. 7:55am
Sam Pierce
I’m so sorry Hazel, I know how much time you put in preparing to interview. 7:55am
Sam Pierce
How can I help? 7:58am
Sam Pierce
Don’t let this get you down. You’re one of the most talented people I’ve worked with, we’ll keep trying. 7:59am
Sam Pierce
I’m going to schedule us a meeting later so it’s on your Cal 8:00am
Sam Pierce
4pm, be there or else. 8:00am
Sam Pierce
That was a threat Rogers… 8:00am
Sam Pierce
“The meetings will continue until morale improves!” 8:01am
Sam Pierce
Get it? Meetings instead of beatings? XD 8:01am
Sam Pierce
Hey where are you? You’re usually green by now. 8:10am
Sam Pierce
Hazelberry? 8:15am
Sam Pierce
Okay, well hit me up as soon as you’re in 8:17am
It wasn’t likehim to send so many messages without getting a response, but she couldn’t help but feel lighter reading through them. She typed back, “Oh, we’re doing threats now? Or else what, SPierce?” He replied, “Little do you know that I’ve had all this time to prepare your best next steps. We’ll discuss at 4.” She rolled her eyes at his transition back into mentor mode.
She shot back replies to her mail and checked the calendar. It was thankfully a slow sort of day, only a smattering of meetings.
Her first meeting was with Tamra, who had only joined the Communications team a few weeks ago. She joined the SyncUp App used for video conferencing a little early to check that her hair was not an embarrassment. There was a small tinkling sound when Tamra entered the room; she shot Hazel a reserved smile. “Hi Hazel, how are you today?”
Hazel hesitated, not knowing exactly how to answer. “Umm, I’m… hanging in there, I guess. Remember I told you I was interviewing for the Training position? I learned late yesterday that I didn’t get it.”
The slight smile flattened on Tamra’s face. “I’m sorry to hear that. I remember you said you made it to the final round of interviews, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Did they say why they went with someone else?”
“Ah, no, it was like a form email. Definitely not personal sounding.”
“Okay, well, have you asked for feedback yet?”
Hazel frowned slightly. She had not made that request yet. The rejection still stung and hearing about how she failed sounded depressing. “No, I haven’t yet. I know I should. It’s just so soon, you know?”
Tamra seemed to think. In fact, she took so long to reply, making several starts but then stopping that she said, “I’m sorry, I’m thinking how to say it… I know I’m new, and I don’t know you nearly as well as I want to, as we will know each other in the future. I do think it’s important to request your feedback soon. Even if it hurts. Look at it this way, they will have your interviews much fresher in their minds to give high-quality feedback.”
Hazel chewed the inside of her cheek and looked down. “You’re right. And I appreciate the advice.”
Tamra seemed more empowered by the acceptance and perked up. “You know, I never asked before, why do you want to move to Training anyway?”
Without hesitation, Hazel replied, “I love telling stories. I’ll be honest, I got into Communication because I thought I’d be telling stories.” She wobbled her head a little. “I mean, sometimes I get to spin a tale here, but it’s rare. More often, our job is attending meetings, waiting for a series of approvals that take so long, and hemming and hawing about word choice that may or may not even make a difference. In Training, they develop scenarios, use storytelling to teach effectively, they onboard our new hires, and get to explain the legend of our culture. It feels like what I intended to do in the first place.”
Tamra held Hazel’s gaze, digesting what she had explained. It made Hazel worry she had shared too much. She inserted, “Not that I dislike it here, please don’t think that, just that I think I could capitalize on my love of storytelling better in Training.”
“I didn’t take it that way,” she shook her head, “I get where you’re coming from, actually. It makes sense to me.” She paused. “Let me know what they say when you get your feedback. I’d really like to help you get there however I can.”
The rest of the meeting was regarding the usual: project statuses, roadblocks and bottlenecks, reviewing communication plans, and the like. Hazel left feeling more endeared to Tamra. Her offer to help was genuine, and even the fact she asked about what made her interested in moving to Training. Not many people had inquired about that, and it struck Hazel as an authentic curiosity. Maybe Tamra would be a good fit for this team.
During her lunch break,Hazel sent Rosie an apology. Rosie was her best friend. She would understand. “Hey, sorry for not replying last night. You know I love a fruit salad. As I was logging out, I got the rejection from Training, and it was… a lot.” There wouldn’t be a reply for a few hours because their lunch breaks weren’t usually aligned, but Hazel felt a little more relieved to have gotten the response out. She’d talked with Tamra, and now she had replied to Rosie. The only other discussion about this would be with Sam in a few hours, which would be the easiest of the conversations. He had the most knowledge about her career desires and had helped her prepare for applying and interviewing.
Hazel joinedSam’s SyncUp room at 3:58pm. He was already there and sporting a shit-eating grin. He offered, “Beat you!” as his greeting.
Even though she knew they would discuss the position, she immediately felt at ease. Their comfortable banter was something like home.
“Of course you did.” She rolled her eyes. “You know, your being able to be at our meetings early so perpetually makes me wonder how much you’re actually working over there. Some of us have responsibilities.”
Sam laughed, exposing his perfect white teeth. Hazel sometimes thought he must have paid big money to get a smile like his. “You caught me. It’s good to see you still have your sense of humor.”
The conversation paused as if they were both delaying the moments of lightheartedness before broaching the heavier subject.
“Mmm,” Sam began with a deep rumble, “I’ve been thinking about what I’d recommend from here. First, I really am relieved to see you doing so well, considering.” Sam looked down at his desk. “You’ve done so much healing, and I was worried…”
“That this would knock me back on my ass completely?” Hazel interrupted.
He returned his stare to Hazel, studying her face. “That’s one way to put it, yes.”
“Honestly, I was kind of scared of that too. Last night was rough, but when I got up this morning, I don’t know. Things didn’t seem as bleak.”
Sam unclenched his jaw. His eyes twinkled at her with what might have been pride. Voice a little deeper, he said, “Good job, Hazelberry.” He observed her a few seconds longer before shaking his head back and forth as if emerging from a daze and continuing, “Well, you know what you have to do next, then?”
Hazel said in unison with Sam, “Ask for feedback.” Only Hazel had said it with sarcasm.
“Oh good, so you do know?”
She sighed. “I do, of course, and just in case I didn’t, now both you and Tamra have reminded me. I’m going to do it. I’ll send them the request before leaving today.”
“I had a good feeling about that Tamra; glad to hear she’s toeing the line with quality advice.”
Hazel pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows. “As it’s the same as your advice, I can see how you might think it high quality. Anyway, I’ll let you know what they say. Despite not getting it, I’m still grateful for all your help getting ready for the interviews.”
“It’s my pleasure. You know I live to serve.” Sam gave a wink.
“Moving on!” Announced Hazel, “What weekend plans do you have?”
The conversation moved into personal territory. Sam shared about the Apple Festival 10k he was running Sunday. Hazel shared the latest novel her book club had started in on.
The conversation had run past their allotted meeting window, and they both needed to attend to other things. As they were wrapping up, Hazel added, “Oh, and Rosie fixed me up on a date. It’s not a big deal, though. Meeting him at a coffee shop Saturday afternoon.”
Sam made an indistinguishable face but turned it into a smile. “Wait, what?! You’re just going to drop this news on me and run? I thought you weren’t ready yet?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not, but will I ever feel ready? Rosie begged me until I gave in. You have no idea what she’s like when she gets an idea in her head, and she keeps reminding me it’s been six months now. I’m… It’s going to be casual, and no pressure. It has to be.”
“Well, good luck then.”
“And to you, on your 10k.”
Before logging off for the night, Hazel penned an email to Ariel Gooding and Jasmond Merrill, the two Training Program Managers she had interviewed with last. She reread it before hitting send.
Hello Ariel and Jasmond,
Though I’m disappointed I won’t be moving forward on the interview path, I still had a great time meeting with you both, and it is still a goal of mine to find my way to Training one day. I would love to get some feedback from you on my interview and ask for your advice on how I can prepare to be an asset to Training.
Thanks,
Hazel Rogers
She hitsend and closed her laptop.
Hazel reached for her phone and realized Rosie had replied, “Gah, I’m sorry, that sucks! I’ll accept a raincheck, and we’ll talk about how stupid your Training team is. Honestly, maybe you shouldn’t even want to join them.”
Although she started workthe following day at her usual early hour, she already had a response from Ariel and Jasmond in the form of a Calendar invitation with a note, “Absolutely! So glad you reached out to ask.”
She felt nervous logging into their SyncUp later that day. She arrived first, but Jasmond entered immediately after her and greeted her with a warm baritone, “Hello! I think Ariel is running a couple minutes behind, but I want to go ahead and tell you that you were the only person we interviewed who asked for feedback. It says a lot about you, and I’m impressed you requested it.”
“Oh, well, thank you! I would have figured everyone would ask.” She shook her head in confusion.
“Everyone should ask, but it’s rare.”
At this, Ariel joined the room, looking slightly frantic, and said, “I’m so sorry I’m late. I got hung up in my last meeting for a few minutes.”
Hazel chuckled and said, “As one does, please don’t worry. Thank you both for meeting with me.”
Ariel addressed Jasmond, “Did you tell her she was the only one to ask?!” He nodded in confirmation, and Ariel spoke to Hazel, “We were really impressed by you already, but when we got your email requesting feedback, it was a wow moment.”
Jasmond kept nodding in agreement and then indicated he would pull up their notes from the interview. “Listen, we want to give you actionable feedback, and I’m worried this will seem lacking. The thing is, we loved your interview.” It was Ariel’s turn to nod her head now. “You clearly understand our mission, your ideas about where we might head in the future were exciting, and even your personality… You’d fit in on the team seamlessly.” He swallowed.
Ariel continued, “It was between you and one other person. They had experience working with Training, and it was the thing that gave them the slightest edge.”
Hazel tried to digest this. She had done well, which was good, but it wasn’t enough. She breathed, “Well, I’m glad to hear it wasn’t a disaster anyway.”
Jasmond exclaimed, “Far from it!”
“What can I do to fill in that gap of experience? Working directly with Training is something I’d love to do even if I’m not in the department officially.”
Ariel and Jasmond smiled, but Ariel answered, “If an obvious opportunity arises, we will reach out, but the real challenge is for you to accomplish that on your own. Find a way to influence or incorporate Training even in your current role. That’s your action.”