Loathing You by Amina Khan
Chapter TWO
J u l i e t t e
I hate her. Despise her. She’s just walking away from me. She has been doing that for so long, but it never ceases to infuriate me.
Adaline Emery.
I still remember the first time I laid my eyes on Adaline. She had walked… no, she had stumbled into my science class.
The sound of rain was still echoing in my ears when I first saw her. The uniform she was wearing was scuffed. Her trousers were entirely too long for her and her shoes were filthy. She looked like an absolute mess, until I saw her face.
That damn face.
I wish so awfully that I could make fun of her face, but I simply cannot. She is a vision to look at, with her flawless tanned skin, bright jade green eyes, and perfect, jet-black hair. She stands out so vividly.
I wish her button-like nose was crooked so I could poke fun at it. I wish her tight, lean body was morbidly disfigured. I just wish she wasn’t so conventionally attractive to look at.
She didn’t even go through puberty properly. Where the rest of us were dealing with acne and every other normal thing that felt like the end of the world, she was still as perfect as ever.
She’s so aware of it, so audaciously aware that everyone in this school wants her. Thankfully, they would never go there. She might be attractive, but she’s still an outcast, not to mention, I’ve made it perfectly clear that she’s off limits.
She’s m—
Myresponsibility.
Since the moment my eyes first caught a glimpse of Adaline Emery, fire has fuelled deep inside of me. This was only fuelled further when I found out that she was bisexual.
As if it wasn’t enough that she was a charity case and that her brother was in jail, now she liked girls? No one else cared about this, but I did.
This news rattled twelve-year-old me. I couldn’t let it go. Eleven-year-old Juliette would have comforted Adaline; I would have stopped being mean for a few seconds and assured her that everything would be okay.
However, a lot changed for me within that year, therefore by extension, it had to change for Adaline too.
Even if she didn’t like girls, Adaline is still absolutely infuriating. I’ve revelled in putting her in her place these past five years. Ridiculing her and playing this game with her has been one of the most consistently, enjoyable part of my life.
“Do you ever get tired of annoying her?” Kai asks me, leaning on his locker, his dark brown mono-lid eyes staring down at me.
“Never.” I smirk because it was true. I could get tired of a lot of things, but annoying Adaline Emery? I could never get tired of that.
I live for that.
“You are insufferable,” Kai retorts, shaking his head as he opens his locker and grabs his books.
Not the first time I’ve heard that and although he’s joking, most people aren’t. I’m a Kingston after all, the heiress to one of the biggest multimillion empires in England.
I find that if people don’t worship me for my money, then they usually will do so for my looks. If not, they’ll just berate me for both, because God forbid that a girl is both pretty and rich, seeing that they cannot class me as a gold digger or a bimbo—both terms which men coined to further demean women.
“You love it,” I retort, playfully shoving my best friend’s shoulder.
Kai Kang. Future rock star in the making. He has been the only true friend I’ve ever had. Other people flock to me as a result of my wealthy family and popularity. Kai isn’t like that; he’s like family to me.
“She’s going to fuck you up one day,” amusement laces his tone, “y’know that right?”
“She wishes.” I scoff at his words.
Did she? Or did I?
Who am I kidding? It’s me. Of course, it’s me. I’m the one who wishes that she will have the courage one day to wrap her fingers around my neck. That she will claw at my hair, bite down on anything she can get her teeth on and just give into that animalistic rage that I know she holds for me.
Then that would mean I’ve gotten to her; I’ve snuck my way so deep inside every single crevice of her mind that she has no other choice but to resort to physical violence.
She would never do that though, not because she hates violence or because she respects me. No, it’s because she won’t give me the satisfaction. To her, I’m nothing.
I am not nothing. I’m a Kingston.
“Did I tell you I left some more roses for Victoria today?” Kai says excitedly, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Yes. Several times,” I groan and he laughs at my annoyance, which prompts me to continue talking. “She just likes the attention, you know,” I tell him in a stern tone, like I’m talking to my younger brother, even though he’s considerably taller than me at his six-foot-one height, compared to my five-foot-seven.
“I like giving it to her.” He shrugs in response.
He is something else. Kai is the type to ask fifty times before even standing next to a girl, but somehow, a wave of confidence fills him when it comes to Victoria.
“Why are you so enamoured by her?” I question curiously, inching forward when I think he’s ready to start answering.
Seriously, I cannot understand it. Sure, she’s beautiful, but how could you possibly like someone this much? I find it embarrassing, even downright degrading to pine so openly for someone.
“She’s intelligent, hardworking, beautiful—”
I cut him off, almost laughing out loud. “Intelligent? That’s debatable. Are you forgetting that she’s best friends with that deplorable dyke …”
“What have I told you about that word?” He cuts me off angrily, slamming his locker door shut.
I roll my eyes. “That my homophobic language is disgusting.”
Every time I utter anything homophobic, pure unadulterated rage takes over his features. It’s understandable, after all, he was friends with me before I became this way.
One of the main reasons we became close friends was because we came from progressive ways of thinking, unlike most of the other kids at Richmond.
I still vividly remember what Kai said to me when we were twelve and I had just trashed Adaline’s locker for the first time, all while viciously spurting homophobic slurs toward her.
He looked at me and said, “I know why you’re so angry at her, but you don’t yet and that’s okay. I’ll be here for you right now and I’ll be there for you when you figure it out.”
To this day, I don’t know what he meant and he hasn’t elaborated on it any further. All I know is that he knows something within his mind that justifies him staying best friends with someone like me; someone who acts against his beliefs all the time. I just count myself lucky that he has remained friends with me, despite everything.
My attitude doesn’t stop him from lecturing me all the time though. If I had a penny for every time he has lectured me about homophobia, I would be even richer than I already am.
“If the old you heard you talking right now, she would be disgusted!” He runs a hand through his red hair—he gets worked up so easily sometimes. “You can’t keep behaving like this, you can’t keep using your father as an excuse—”
“Don’t,” I warn him in a dangerously low tone.
He furrows his eyebrows in anger and clamps his mouth shut, clearly trying to assemble his next words very carefully.
“Juli—” Kai abruptly stops talking and I quirk my eyebrow up at him questioningly. Until I myself am startled by hands hugging me from behind.
My first instinct is to attack the person, but then I recognize the faint scent of wood and the burly hands around my waist and I relax slightly. Just slightly.
“I missed you baby,” he whispers, his head resting in the crook of my neck. Although his hands feel a little too strong and his scent feels a little too musky, I lean further back into him.
“I missed you too,” I say. I’m not sure I really did, but it feels right to say it back.
Kai seems like he has calmed down now, because he’s making gagging faces at the display of affection he’s witnessing.
He is not the biggest fan of my relationship or my boyfriend for that matter, which is appalling, because everyone at Richmond academy worships the ground that Adonis Waters walks on. He is the captain of the boys’ football team and the most popular boy in school. So, it makes perfect sense for me to be in a relationship with him.
That and the fact that we are essentially the same person. He’s rude, vicious, filthy rich, and easy on the eyes—just like me.
I first started dating him when I was sixteen. I remember vividly that I played extremely hard to get, until I saw him walking down the corridors one day and witnessed how in awe everyone else was.
Many girls fawned over his dark brown skin and those chestnut brown eyes. His short hair, that was riddled with waves, was the envy of many boys too, as was his tall, six-foot stature. I knew there and then that we would make sense as a couple.
“Can I come over tomorrow night?” Adonis asks me wiggling his eyebrows.
I know he wants to have sex tomorrow. It’s not like he didn’t try his best when it came to sex, but it was just painfully boring.
That seemed to be the recurring theme when it came to my sex life, which was very active before and after meeting Adonis. Yet, no one has ever given me an orgasm, besides myself. That must be because I know my own body the best.
That must be it, right?
“Can’t wait.” I lie easily to his face as he takes my hand and asks if he can walk me back to biology class and I agree.
Kai just rolls his eyes and walks away without saying goodbye; he is clearly still infuriated by my earlier words.
Once we reach class, I kiss Adonis goodbye, not missing the way he checks out the other girls hovering around me. Strangely, it doesn’t bother me.
I make my way back to my desk and sit down, my eyes immediately searching for Adaline. I spot her fairly quickly; she isn’t in her usual seat, but the one next to it. Her eyes are focused intently on her biology textbook and she’s swinging her legs under the desk. That would be so utterly adorable if it wasn’t her doing it.
I force myself to look away when I notice Professor Khalid walking back into class. As soon as he enters the class, he starts teaching immediately.
I spend most of my time in this class just doodling on my notebook, I did this in most classes, but mainly science. I’m just not fond of science or any subject that isn’t Art.
The only reason I’m even taking biology is because every student at Richmond is forced to take all core subjects.
Art is the only subject I adore. I could melt into a void of nothingness and be content as long as I grasped a paintbrush in my fingertips. I would have made a career out of it too, but my mother would never allow it.
A few years ago, she would have. She used to love seeing me paint and draw, but now all she wants is for me to follow her rules; join the family business and not push the envelope any further.
The ringing of the bell snaps my brain back to reality. Everyone is packing their bags away like rabid animals before professor Khalid bellows very loudly, “The bell doesn’t dismiss you, I do!”
Everyone in class audibly groans at his words and waits till he dismisses everyone. I do the same and sling my bag across my shoulder as I make my way out of this hellhole.
“Juliette!” he calls out, stopping me when I’m just about to leave the classroom. “I’d like to discuss something with you before you leave.”
I sigh and roll my eyes, knowing that he was about to lecture me about my grades again.
When I reach his desk, he sighs and pulls out our recent biology test scripts. Mine has a massive F written on it. I look around instantly, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Thankfully, no one is here.
“This is your what? Fourth fail this month? This is abysmal, Juliette. I cannot keep letting you get away with these grades,” he says sternly, massaging his temples as my palms start sweating at his words. “You know how this works, if you fail any of your core subjects, you will be removed from the cheerleading team …”
“No!” I protest loudly. “I’ll take the test again.”
No. No. No. I’m not getting removed from the cheer squad. I’ve built that team from the ground up and it would have crumbled into nothing if not for me! It’s our last year at Richmond; last year to win any major tournaments as usual. If they lose me, we can kiss our five-year winning streak goodbye.
“It’s not just this test, it’s every test since the beginning of the year.”
“But—”
“Enough!” he cuts me off again and I narrow my eyes at him, but he doesn’t look scared in the slightest. “I’m giving you one last chance. I’ve decided that I will be assigning you a tutor.”
I exhale in relief. I’ve never cared about biology and I won’t be starting now, I was just going to wing my final exams anyway. At least this way, I can bribe or even threaten my tutor to do the work for me.
“Who is going to tutor me?” I question, ready to find out who I have to start threatening.
“The best student in my class,” he tells me, his voice filled with exhaustion and that’s when I realize.
Oh no.
“Isn’t the best student in your class…” I can’t even finish my sentence, I cannot get the words out because if I do, then I will wreck pure havoc on Professor Khalid and his classroom.
He sighs loudly, before answering. “Adaline Emery.”