On a Different Mission by Christie Gordon

Also by Christie Gordon

The First Full Moon- Paranormal, Historical

The Obsession- Contemporary College

Secrets- Contemporary New Adult

Say the Words- Contemporary New Adult

In Life and Blood Series– Vampire

Chapter One

Devin

Istrolled along the brick sidewalk in downtown Tempe, taking in the bright lights of the shops lining each side of the street and the inky sky above me. “I’m so glad they hired me at that bakery. Those guys, the owners are really cool.” I hung my head, then shifted my gaze to Olivia, her long brown hair falling over her leather jacket, a blue mini skirt hugging her narrow hips.

“I told you, it’s about time you figured yourself out. What better place than a queer bakery?” She touched my arm, a grin growing across her lips. “You will sing tonight, right?” She stopped at a set of glass doors inside a brick building, her brown eyes taking me in from head to toe. “You look good tonight. I love those jeans with all the zippers you found at the secondhand store, and pairing them with the long white shirt all buttoned to the top? You might have found your style.” She chuckled. “I mean, it’s about time, senior year and all.”

Heat flushed my face and I glanced at my reflection in the door, my, chin-length, brown bangs falling over one of my light-blue eyes and to the side. She’d talked me into growing out my bangs. I liked it. “Yeah, I think I’ll sing.” I pressed my lips together. How different could it be from soloing in the church choir back home?

“Well, if it’s as good as I’ve heard you sing in the car to the radio, you’re going to have the attention of every guy and girl in the bar. Let’s see who you choose.” With a giggle, she sprang the door open and stepped inside.

I glanced at the sign in red hovering over the door. Monkey Pants Bar and Grill, what a weird name for a bar. Whatever, here goes nothing. With a quick inhale, I stepped inside and perused the place. A long wooden bar centered the room in a U-shape with red vinyl chairs surrounding it and red-painted walls. Almost all the chairs were full with what looked like students. No wonder, we were practically still on campus. “Hey, let’s find some seats at the bar if there are any.” I pointed toward it.

“Sure.” Olivia made her way through young adults, some preppy and some more creatively dressed, then found two seats at the bar. She slid into one, then patted the seat of the other. “Come on.”

I climbed into the seat, then rested my elbows on the bar and my chin in my hand, my gaze roaming the room. “How many times have you been here?”

“Too many to count.” She waved at the bartender. “You want a beer, right?”

“Yeah.” My gaze snagged a younger looking man. “Some of these kids must have fake IDs. There is no way that guy over there is twenty-one.” I ticked my head across the bar.

She ordered our beer. “Well, why not? I had one, remember?” She swiveled her stool to face me. “You were too straightlaced to even think about it.”

“And Mormon.” I chuckled. “Don’t forget that. I’d never even had a beer before I came down here.” I was so done with that church. There was no way for me to fit in there anymore. I knew that for certain now. My chest tightened.

Furrowing her brows, Olivia said, “Devin. How are you going to deal with going back to Page and facing your family over spring break? I mean, the new job got you out of it over the holidays, but…”

“I’m not.” I watched a male bartender dressed in black set our beers down. I wrapped my fingers around the cool glass, focusing on it. “I have a month to figure it out. Maybe I can blame it on our senior project this time.”

A young woman stood up from the crowd and stepped up to a microphone on a stand.

“Let’s welcome Trisha to the mic,” said a young man seated behind a karaoke desk, and a ballad started up.

“Yeah, guess so.” Olivia worried her lower lip. “But I don’t think you can avoid them forever.” She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and side-hugged me, dipping her head to my shoulder for a second. “If you want, I’ll go with you. You know I’ve got your back.”

I leaned into her touch. “Thanks.” I patted her hand on my shoulder. “Ever since freshman year when you found me trying on that lipstick in my dorm room.” I chuckled. I’d almost jumped out of my skin, but her reaction to it had put me immediately at ease. She’d told me all about Jonathan from the show Queer Eye and how I might be like him. It had opened my eyes to so much. The start of a beautiful friendship.

She scoffed, straightening in her chair. “I can’t believe you’re still in the dorm.” Rolling her eyes, she sipped her beer.

“It’s just easier with my scholarship. It’s paid for.” I tossed her a look. “If I hadn’t worked my ass off and gotten that damned scholarship, I would have been forced by my mother to volunteer for a mission and be at Brigham Young right now and still be hiding myself.” A shiver worked up my spine. How different my life would be.

She fingered her beer glass. “How did you even know you needed to get out of that life and work toward coming to Arizona State?” She peered at me.

I pursed my lips. “I kissed a guy in high school.”

“You what?” She twisted on her stool, staring at me, mouth open. “How the hell have you never told me that?”

With a shrug of a shoulder, I said, “It was uh, it was sort of humiliating, really.” A familiar ache wrapped around my heart. “Guess I didn’t want anyone to know.” Though it had changed the trajectory of my life, for sure.

“Even me? Your best, most open-minded friend ever?” She tsked. “Tell me what happened.” She drank some beer.

With a long exhale, I glanced at her, then took a sip of my beer, letting the ache lessen in my chest. “There was this guy friend of mine that I started crushing on in like tenth grade and I tried kissing him at a sleepover party, but he got pissed off and clocked me one. Got a black eye for my trouble.” I sighed. A black eye and a broken heart. I’d never tried anything with a guy since. And I was still a damn virgin. So not cool.

“So, have you even kissed before?” She lifted her chin, a grin working over her mouth. “’Cause I know you don’t hardly date.”

“Of course I have.” I shifted in my chair. “I’ve kissed girls. I do like both you know, but I just…” What was I anyways? How was I still trying to figure this thing out at twenty-two? “I just don’t have the same emotional feelings with girls that I do with guys, I guess.”

“You are so complicated.” She huffed out a laugh, then pointed at the karaoke table. “Go put your name in.”

“Yep.” I slid off my chair, my sights on the karaoke table in the side of the room, under a string of colorful lights.

She snagged my arm. “Wait, what are you going to sing?”

“I think I’ll do something by My Chemical Romance.” I flashed my eyes at her. When I’d heard them for the first time in the dorm, I knew they understood how I felt. “I’m going to do that song, I’m Not Okay.”

With a snicker, she said, “That is so you.”

A half-hour later, the karaoke announcer said, “And now we have uh, Devin. Come on up to the mic.”

“Oh my God, this is it.” Olivia tagged my shoulder. “Go get ‘em.”

My pulse quickened as I climbed off my barstool, then swiped my bangs to the side of my face. “Yeah, I’ll do my best.” Why had I let her talk me into this? Because it was time for me to be me. I was done hiding. I straightened my shoulders, then strode through the people to the mic and tipped my head at the karaoke man.

“Ready?” The karaoke man lifted his brows.

I nodded, then snatched the mic off the stand and held it to my mouth, my gaze cutting to a television screen hanging on the wall across from me, people milling underneath it, chatting and sending absent glances my way. My heart thrummed in my chest. Was I really doing this?

The harsh, rhythmic guitars started up for the song.

The screen showed little dots, followed by the first verse of lyrics.

Yep, doing this. I inhaled deeply, my hands trembling. As my voice hit the notes perfectly, the angst of the song building inside me, the memories of my high school days flooded into me, giving me courage. As I sang, I focused on the mic, bending over it, shaking my body to the beat of the music. My voice became stronger, drowning out the bar.

People turned my way, staring. Some girls flashed coy smiles at me, and others started dancing, jumping up and down.

I filled my lungs with air, then continued on, pumping out the song, the music flowing electric in my veins. As the song ended, I stood with the mic, panting, my head hanging forward, my face veiled under my long bangs.

A moment of silence enveloped the bar, then shouts and whoops filled the space.

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. I did it. I lifted my head, gazing out across the bar and the now clapping people.

“Wow, that was Devin everyone. Devin.” The karaoke man held out a hand to me, then pointed at me. “You be sure to sing a few more songs, okay?”

“Uh, maybe.” I slipped the microphone into the stand and stepped away from it, toward Olivia.

A young man strolled toward me, his dyed black hair parted at the side and reaching to his chin, framing his face. The back of his hair was gelled up and a hoop earring pierced his brow, glinting off the flashing lights of the bar. “Hey.” He lifted a hand. His tight black t-shirt showed off a slender, but muscled chest and tattoos scattered across his arms.

“Uh, hey.” I glanced at him, then stuffed my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. This guy looked way too cool to be wanting anything from me.

“Devin, was it?” He held out his hand, his deep-blue gaze raking over me. “I’m Axel.”

Shaking his hand, I said, “Like the singer for Guns and Roses?” The dude even had a cool name. Damn.

With a quick chuckle, Axel nodded his head. “Yeah, sort of like that. But I’m not a singer, I play guitar in this cover band. We play around town here.” He placed his hands on his hips. “Our bass player has been singing, but he’s not really all that great and it limits what we can play.” He glanced at a woman now singing at the microphone. “I want to play stuff like what you just sang and maybe some Soundgarden, you know? But we need a guy with some good pipes for that.”

“O-kay.” I arched a brow. Where was this guy going with this?

“You, my man, have the pipes.” He poked me in the chest. “You must have sung in a band before, right?”

I widened my eyes. “What? No, just a, a church choir. That’s all.” Holy hell, was this guy asking me to sing in his band? What would that be like? Did I even have time for that with my new job and school?

Olivia sauntered to us and held out a new beer to me, holding her own close to her chest. “Here.” Her gaze dragged to Axel. “Who’s this?” She gave him the once over.

“Uh, this is Axel. He’s in a band.” I brushed my hand down the back of my hair, then sipped the beer.

“Oh, I’m Olivia. Nice to meet you.” She held out her hand.

He gave her hand a quick shake. “Nice to meet you. Are you his girlfriend or something?” He winced, then twisted his lips.

She dipped at the knees, then straightened, cocking her head with a smile. “Oh no, he’s not…he doesn’t like uh…” She peeked at me.

“I’m not straight.” I puffed my chest out. There, that would probably put an end to this conversation. Certainly, the guy was not looking for a queer lead singer.

“Oh, really.” A sly smile spread over his ample lips, and he ran his gaze over me once again. “Good. You’re perfect. All of us in the band are gay or bi or whatever.” He fished his cell phone out of the front pocket of his black, ripped jeans. “Give me your number.”

“I…what?” I raised my brows. Was he hitting on me maybe? “What do you want my number for?”

He leaned in close. “So I can schedule an audition with the band. What did you think I wanted it for?”

“Oh.” Heat flooded my cheeks. You idiot, he isn’t into you. “N-nothing. B-but I don’t know if I’d have time for—”

“Devin, you have to do this. You need to sing.” Olivia tugged my arm, turning me toward her. “Did you see the reaction this place had to you singing that song? Oh my God, it was great.” She beamed at me.

“But what about school and the bakery job?” I chewed my lower lip. What was I getting myself into here? Singing for people up on a stage was not the same as karaoke, was it? Oh, but it had felt so good.

Waving a hand, he said, “Don’t worry, dude. We’re all in school and have jobs, too.” He offered a quick laugh. “Well, except for Gabe, our drummer, but he does marching band in the fall, so it’s sort of like a job. Plus, he’s studying pre-law and it’s pretty hard.”

I lowered my brows. “I-I don’t know.” Could I really pull this off?

He let out a puff of breath through his nose. “Dude, just come audition first and if everyone agrees you’re a good fit, then we can talk logistics. Okay?” He held his phone up to his face. “Give me your number.”

With a glance at Olivia’s still beaming face, I gave him my number. What could it really hurt? It probably wouldn’t go anywhere.

“Are you here with anyone else from the band?” Olivia’s gaze searched the bar.

“Naw, we split up sometimes to check out different places with karaoke.” Axel narrowed his eyes at me. “We’ve been looking for a singer like you for a few months now. I’m getting really tired of karaoke.” He snickered, then tapped me on the chest. “Anyways, I’ll be in touch.” He turned on his heels and walked off.

Scratching the back of my head, I focused on Olivia. “I can’t believe that just happened.” And I would be in a band with a bunch of men like me?

“Well, I can believe it. It’s about time you got out of that shell. Maybe you’ll get lucky with this band and get laid.” She snorted.

“Stop.” Hanging my head, I curled my lips into a soft smile. Axel would probably have one hell of a laugh if he knew I was still a virgin. I grabbed Olivia’s arm and led her to the bar, leaning into her ear. “Listen, if you see that guy again, or any of his band guys, don’t tell them I’m a virgin, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” She stopped, placing her hand on my cheek. “Devin, I would never do something like that. I wasn’t even sure about outing you to that guy.”

“Yeah, I know. I just have a feeling all these guys are really cool and I’m just…not.” Pursing my lips, I dipped my head.

“You are cool. I mean, look at you.” She released me and stepped back, waving her hands over my sides. “You look hot tonight. That guy’s an idiot if he doesn’t ask you out now that he has your number.”

I flicked my gaze to meet with hers. “I don’t think he’s into me.” I pressed my lips together. “Besides, I don’t know if I’m into him, either.” Because Axel was way out of my league.

She blinked. “But he was hot.” Shaking her head, she said, “What is wrong with you?” She grabbed my arm and led me back to the bar.

“I don’t know.” I huffed. What was wrong with me?

The next day, I strolled down the sidewalk, watching the sun peeking over glass high rise buildings in downtown Tempe. I loved this new job, and I did not want to be late. This new bakery was the talk of the campus, with its unique décor and amazing treats. I stopped at the entrance and looked up at a wooden sign in a rainbow of colors, saying Queer Confections. I peeked inside, then opened the door and strolled across the wooden floor, past velvet couches and chairs in a variety of colors surrounded by wooden tables. As I walked, my gaze roamed the skateboards and skateboard art on the walls, and I smiled. Dana and Nate, the owners, liked to skateboard.

A couple sat against a wall, eating treats.

As I stepped around the corner of the glass display filled with vibrant cakes and pastries, my gaze caught on Dana, his dirty-blond hair pulled into a short ponytail under his baker’s cap.

Dana bent over a table with trays of fluffy pastries, appearing to inject filling into them.

“Hi, I’m here for work.” I stopped at the table and perused the desserts lined up on trays, my mouth watering.

Dana straightened. “Oh, good.” He glanced toward an open doorway to the office. “Nate, Devin is here.” His attention shifted to me. “Here, I want you to try this and tell me what you think.” He held up one of the pastries he’d been working on.

“Okay, what is it?” I took the offered pastry and turned it in my hand. For all I knew it was some sort of Danish.

“I don’t know what to call it yet, but it’s infused with Grand Marnier, and I added an orange compote to bring out the flavor of the liquor.” Dana set his hands on his hips. “Nate says it’s really good, but”—he glanced toward the office door—“he always says that.”

Nate strolled out of the office, his wavy dark hair falling to his shoulders, his gray eyes focused on Dana. “That’s because it is. I’d tell you if it sucked.”

With a quick snigger, Dana said, “The only thing I want sucked is—”

“Dana, watch it. Devin is an employee.” Nate shook his head, a grin spreading over his lips.

“Oh, come on, I don’t care.” I waved a hand at Nate. “It’s only us anyways.” I smiled at Dana. “And I like his humor.”

“There. See?” Dana tugged on Nate’s arm, bringing him close, then planted a swift kiss on his cheek.

“Yeah, yeah.” Nate smoothed his hands down the front of his graphic t-shirt and focused on me. “So, how’s the rest of the senior year looking? What have you picked for your final project?”

“Well, I like the finance side of business, so I was looking to do some sort of financial analysis on a small business.” I glanced at the pastry still in my hand, then bit into it. An explosion of orange, butter, egg and not too much sugar melted in my mouth. “Oh my God, that’s good.” I ate another bite and chewed, letting out a soft moan.

“See? I told you it was good.” Nate squeezed Dana’s hand, then ticked his head at me. “Hey, want to do a financial analysis of our business? Sort of get your hands dirty in the real world?”

My gaze flashed to Nate. I covered my mouth while I chewed and said, “Are you kidding me? That would be great.” Nate might be turning into my idol. Especially since he’d already graduated with a business degree and had used it to start up this bakery with Dana, obviously the love of his life. If only I could get so lucky.

“I kid you not.” Nate arched a brow at Dana. “Then you can see if I missed anything when I did my business plan for this place.”

“I’m sure you didn’t.” I took another bite of pastry. God this was good.

“Okay, you two. Let’s get started on the real work. There’s a customer at the counter.” Dana pointed toward the front of the store.

“I got it.” I set the pastry down on the table by Dana, then rushed to the counter, pulled my frilly pink apron off a hook on the wall and faced a young man with dark, curly hair falling around his face and smokey, dark eyes. He had just the right amount of stubble powdering his strong jaw and above his mouth. My heart skipped a beat, then I took in his black fleece stretching across wide shoulders. “C-can I help you?”

The young man stared at me a moment, then shook his head and snagged his lower lip in his teeth. When his gaze found mine again, he gave me a coy smile, his thick lips lifting a tad higher on one side. “Yeah, uh, what do you think is good here?” He set his forearms on the glass counter. As he leaned in, his eyes lightened in color to a deep umber.

“Um, uh, I-I think everything is good here. There is nothing that is bad.” I freed a stuttered chuckle. I sounded like an idiot. What was happening to me? I clutched the apron over my chest, attempting to slow the pounding of my heart.

The young man tilted his head, his gaze roaming over me. “Nice uh, nice apron.” His smile widened.

My heart jolted and I looked down. Was this guy making fun of my apron? What was he doing in here if he’d joke about shit like that? “It, it was—”

“Dude, I got him that apron. You got a problem with that?” Dana stood beside me and flung a white towel over his shoulder, glaring at the customer.

The young man dropped his smile and stepped back, holding his palms up. “N-no, God no. I-I actually think it looks uh, cute on him.” He worried his lower lip. “Look, I’m sorry. I seriously didn’t mean anything bad by that.” He hung his head and puffed out a breath. “I’m so not good at this.”

“Not good at what?” Dana flashed his eyes at me, then set his hands on the counter.

“Nothing.” The young man scrubbed his face, then in a soft voice, said, “Can I get one of those rainbow cupcakes over there?” He pointed toward the end of the counter, staring at the floor.

“Sure.” I squeezed Dana’s forearm as I passed him. Under my breath, I said, “It’s okay, go make more of those yummy whatever those were.” I strolled to the end of the counter, slid the back open and grabbed a rainbow-colored cupcake with sprinkles.

Dana huffed, then strode to the back of the store.

“Here.” I set the cupcake on the counter. “Do you need a box?”

The young man stole a glance at me, his gaze locking on mine for a moment, his brows wrinkling. “No, I’m going to eat it here. I’m, I’m meeting a friend.”

“Did you want some coffee to go with it? Maybe a French roast? We get the same beans they have in the sidewalk cafés in Paris. The owner makes sure they’re the best.” I gave him my warmest smile. This guy had looked so confident when he’d come in here. Why did he look so deflated now? I pulled a white plate out from under the counter and set the cupcake on top of it.

“Sure, I’ll take a coffee. Uh, make that two.” The young man tugged his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans.

I rung up the order. “I’ll make the coffee and call your name when it’s ready if I’m busy, otherwise I’ll bring it to you.” I pursed my lips. “Uh, what’s your name?”

“Brandon.” He shifted his gaze to the register, then set some money on the counter. “Keep the change.” He lifted the cupcake off the counter, then turned and walked to the closest couch, in red, and dropped into the end of it, facing the bakery counter and me.