Penalty Box by Kris Butler
CHAPTER ONE
Henley
The elevator door shut,closing me in silence as the words of the past hour ran circles around my head.
Suspended. Unwholesome. Placed on leave.
I didn’t know which one hurt the worst as they pierced my soul, ripping me open from the inside. I’d placed my trust in the league and my boyfriend, but it turned out to be for nothing. They’d turned on me when I needed them, leaving me to pick up the pieces. I tried to hold back the tears that wanted to fall, but the second I was alone, they erupted out of me, my lungs gasping for breath.
I doubled over, sliding down the elevator wall until I was in a crouch. I clung to the bar at the back, the only thing keeping me up. What was I going to do now? How would I take care of Reese if I was unemployed? I’d spent my whole life playing hockey. I wasn’t sure I knew how to do anything else.
The elevator began to descend, so I gulped in air, standing as I furiously swiped at my face. Pulling out a tissue from my bag, I wiped away the remnants of mascara, using the shiny elevator surface as a mirror. By the time the doors opened, the only indicator that I’d been crying would be my red face. I wasn’t even able to get away with crying without the whole world knowing.
Pulling my sunglasses out, I placed them on, feeling a little braver now that no one could see my true state. Stepping forward, I focused on putting one foot in front of the other, ignoring everything else. If I looked at any of the guards or personnel at the complex, I’d lose it.
“Have a good day, Henshaw,” the clerk at the desk said. I waved jerkily as I sped by, hoping to avoid a scene. The tears threatened to spill again, anyway.
It was a stab to my heart that I hadn’t been expecting. The routine and familiar faces would no longer be part of my day. It was too much, and I barely made it outside without falling over in another heap.
The cold air of the morning hit my cheeks, making my tears more noticeable as they continued to stream down my face. Pulling my keys from my bag, I marched to my car, needing to escape from the pressure to hold everything together. I clearly wasn’t as strong as I’d thought, the tears refusing to stop once they’d started.
The car beeped, and I pulled open the door, practically diving into it in the next second as I sucked in a breath, my lip quivering. Walls pressed in around me and I struggled to breathe. I clawed at my hoodie, pulling it over my head in an attempt to open my airway. It felt a little better, but I still couldn’t seem to suck in enough air.
There was a knock on my window, but I couldn’t make myself turn. I didn’t have it in me to face whoever it was. I waved them off, hoping they’d go away.
The door opened, the cold air seeping into the car and bringing goosebumps to my skin. I tightened myself into a ball, praying whoever it was would get the memo. Strong arms wrapped around me, the smell of mint and berries invading my nose as I was pressed up against a hard chest. I wanted to fight whoever this was, but I had nothing left in me. Besides, the pressure felt nice, making the walls not seem as close, so if they were going to kidnap me, at least I’d be calmer.
“Not a kidnapper,” a deep voice rumbled, sending vibrations through me. My body began to switch gears, the panic and fear easing as it took stock of the man. I couldn’t see his face, but everything else about him was making me stop and take notice.
Lifting my head, I met crystal blue eyes that shimmered in the early morning light. His lashes were long and dark, instantly making me envious. I couldn’t look past his eyes, too transfixed by them. He stood, holding me to him outside my car, staring at me.
I felt his slow breathing and realized he was mirroring how I should breathe. I naturally mimicked him, sucking in a long breath and slowly letting it out. After a few times, I felt myself start to relax, the panic ebbing away as my heart slowed, my body and focus returning to me. It was then I realized my body was shaking.
The dark stranger continued to hold me tightly to him, his voice making a soothing sound as he rocked back and forth. The combination felt nice, and I slowly calmed, the last of my panic falling away. He never broke eye contact, giving me his strength until mine returned.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice barely a whisper.
His eyes searched my face, seeming to find what he was looking for. He placed me on my feet, his large hands gripping my elbows until I was steady.
“Don’t let them take your soul.”
It felt like a reprimand and an encouragement, all in the same breath. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, the rough pads of his fingertips brushing against my lobe before he pivoted and strode away. I blinked, a bit dazed with him suddenly being gone, unsure of what had happened. Turning, I watched him disappear into a large truck that was parked oddly behind me.
Had he been watching me? How did he know I needed help?
I took a step forward, my body not ready for him to leave. My hand stretched out, reaching for the dark stranger, urging him to return. I realized I didn’t even know his name as the truck pulled away; the tires screeching on the pavement as he drove off, turning out of the parking lot.
Blinking, I used my hand to block the sun as I watched the dark truck turn into traffic. As quickly as he’d stepped into my life, he was gone.
I climbed back into my car and found my sunglasses and hoodie on the passenger seat. I quickly pulled the hoodie over my head and placed the shades on my eyes. I started the car; the music played softly, so I cranked up the volume as I fastened my seatbelt and pulled out of the lot. Glancing in my rearview one last time before I exited, I said a silent goodbye to the hockey complex that had been my work and home for the past five years.
I drovein a daze as I thought about the dark stranger. I couldn’t figure out why he seemed familiar or why he’d pulled a random stranger out of their car to comfort them. Did he get off on weeping females or something? Though that didn’t feel right. He hadn’t seemed like he was getting off on helping me. In fact, if I thought about it, while he seemed concerned about my well-being, he wasn’t all that comfortable.
I still couldn’t get his smell out of my mind. It was intoxicating, and I knew if I ever smelled it again, it would only be him I envisioned. Crystal blue eyes, dark lashes, and sharp cheekbones that would forever be cemented in my head. I knew I’d be looking at every man from here on out, searching for him in the crowd, hoping I’d see him again.
When I pulled into my apartment complex parking structure, I realized how quick the drive had been. I guess the one advantage of breaking down in the parking lot and being rescued by Mr. Dark and Sexy was I hadn’t fixated on being fired.
They could call it whatever they wanted, but I'd been fired when it came down to it. Fired for being a sexual woman who’d sent her boyfriend a video—a video I thought would be safe. It enraged me that, as a woman, I was held to a different standard in the hockey industry. How many countless male hockey stars had sex tapes and sexual exploits blasted all over the news, or sexual harassment allegations for the league to sweep it under the rug?
Too many to count.
It wasn’t fair. But if I focused on the fairness in the world, especially in hockey as a woman, I’d still be alone in the parking lot with traces of mascara down my face. It was useless. I needed to think differently and show the league how wrong they were; blowing up and being “emotional” would only cement their decision. It didn’t matter how sexist it was. It was how the world worked, regardless of how I felt about it. So, I had to be smarter and beat them at their own game.
The problem was, I didn’t know how to do that. Right now, I just felt lost and like everything was falling apart.
With a deep breath, I opened my door and began walking toward my apartment building. I took the back staircase to avoid any press. Since I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew in the building, I pulled up the hood of my hoodie, shoving my long, dark ponytail into the back. Keeping my head down, I made my way through the building, avoiding eye contact. The stairs were vacant as I made my ascent. I focused on each step in front of me, pushing everything else aside. I could do this.
When I reached the eighth floor, I was out of breath, huffing as I pushed open the door. Sweat ran down my back, but I kept my hood up and head down, too nervous about running into anybody. I had passed a few people, but I avoided making eye contact, staring at my feet as I walked. When I was a few doors from my apartment, I sighed in relief and pulled out my keys. Glancing up, I met a pair of eyes I wanted to forget.
Everything in me hardened as I stared at Dakota Hughes—left wingman of the Baltimore Barons and my ex-boyfriend.
“Henny, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think it would get out. I tried to talk to the league, I did, but my agent told me it would be better if I stayed out of it.”
I swiped my hand through the air, my keys jingling with the move. “Just stop, Dakota. Don’t call me that ever again. I told you we were through. I’m done, Dakota. Done.”
“Henny, come on. Don’t be like that. It was an honest mistake.” He crowded me as I tried to open my door. The smell of his cologne was heady and too much, making me want to puke. It stole the last remnants of the dark stranger’s scent, making me sadder than I had any right to be.
I narrowed my eyes as I gritted my teeth. “I said stop. Don’t come any closer, or I’ll call security. I need to ensure they know not to let you up here again.”
He scoffed, stepping back as if I’d slapped him. “Henny, you don’t mean that.”
“Oh, you’ll find that I very much mean it. Let’s be real, Dakota. We haven’t been good for the past year. We’ve been holding onto a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. On top of that, I can’t ever get past it to forgive you. What you did was inexcusable. You violated me…” The tears started again, and I wouldn’t let him have that. I cleared my throat, pressing my fingernails into my palms. “There’s no coming back from that. I’ve lost everything while you got a slap on the wrist. There’s nothing left of our relationship. The usefulness of it has worn off. So, just leave. There’s no need to make a scene.”
While I’d been talking, he’d gone from contrite to mad. When I finished, the side of him I’d always hated emerged, and he looked me up and down like I was scum. I knew his ego wouldn’t handle me dismissing him, so I braced myself for whatever blow he was about to bestow upon me.
“You could’ve had everything, Henny. A life on my arm, a career on my coattails, even.” He lifted his head like he’d been doing me a favor, and I was the dumb one for turning him away. “The moment you took in your sister—”
“Sibling. You know Reese is non-binary,” I hissed, tired of this argument. He refused to call Reese by the correct pronouns, proving he wasn’t as accepting as he portrayed to the media.
“Sister,” he emphasized. “The second you took her in, your career was over. No one wants a weirdo like her on their team, and you going to bat for her to play on the boys’ team was too far. You need to remember your place in this sport, Henny. It’s cute watching you play, thinking you’re as good and tough as the men. I stayed because you were the sport’s sweetheart, which looked good for my image.” His lip turned into a sneer, and I wondered what I’d ever seen in him.
Maybe I had been deluding myself, picturing this perfect life with him. Looking at him now, I knew it had never been real. Just a version of a future I thought I’d wanted. If he couldn’t accept Reese in my life, he wasn’t the man for me.
I rolled my eyes, tired of wasting words on someone who’d been more worried about his own image than comforting and protecting me—the woman he proclaimed to love.
It was clear, though, Dakota Hughes only loved himself.
“Goodbye, Dakota.” I opened the door, sliding through it, keeping it only open an inch. “And that sex tape… I was thinking of your rival the whole time. It was the only way I could come.”
I shut the door, a satisfied smile spreading across my face as I slid to the floor. He slammed his fist against the surface, causing me to jump, but I didn’t care. I heard him storm away, and for a moment, I felt like myself—strong, in control, and respected.
It only lasted a minute until the phone rang; Reese’s school appeared on the caller ID, and I knew my day from hell wasn’t over.