Blanket of Stars by K.K. Allen

Prologue

CAYSON

Medically unfit to serve in the United States Air Force.

The final determination from the phrase circles my mind like dirty water down a clogged drain. When Captain McHale requested for me to return to base to discuss the medical review board’s decision regarding my medical leave, I anticipated an ending just like this. But after being driven off my North Carolina base, the place I once called home, it all feels like I’m trapped in a bad dream.

Nearly one year ago, I was flight commander of a rescue plane on our return flight home from Puerto Rico when a mechanical failure brought us down. The near-fatal plane crash into the Atlantic left me some gnarly scars, several broken bones, and a week-long coma. But I survived, and I’ve been following my rehabilitation program to the letter ever since.

Thanks to my three brothers and sister, I’ve been living in my hometown of Orcas Island, Washington, under their constant supervision. Despite the steady progress, it’s not enough to save my ass when it comes to the rigorous standards of the Air Force.

Sure, my vision still isn’t perfect, but after months of therapy, my neuro-optometrist tells me that with some corrective lenses, there’s hope for me yet. He’s not ruling out my ability to fly again, but as far as the Air Force is concerned, the injuries I sustained make me too much of a liability to promise me a future.

So, here I am at twenty-six, a retired first lieutenant with my entire life ahead of me. At least the military offered me retirement. Without the allotted twenty years under my belt, my disability retired pay is all that I’m left with.

“What will you do now?” my fellow airman, Louis, asks later that evening while out for drinks at our favorite hole-in-the-wall bar.

I’m still in shock as I lean my crutches against the bar beside me. My eyes feel glued open, my thoughts whirring far too fast to process. “I don’t know, man. Go back home to Orcas Island, I guess.”

Louis frowns. “Bullshit. This is your home. You’ve already been gone long enough. Stay here, finish your rehabilitation, and appeal your discharge. They’ll take another look at you when you’re all healed up. Guaranteed.”

My frown deepens with the shake of my head. “I don’t know.”

“The only reason they’re cutting you loose is because you chose to get treatment off-site. Stay here. Continue rehab. Don’t give up.”

Give up. That’s the last thing I would ever do, but I understand why he sees it that way. “The captain isn’t giving me a choice, and I’m sorry, but I’m not going to wait around here hoping the medical board changes their mind while the days pass me by.”

Louis maintains a look of baffled surprise. “So, that’s it, huh? You lose your wings, and you walk away from the only family who ever supported you?”

I sit up straighter, my chest puffing out with pride. “My family has always supported me, Lou. It’s me who walked away all those years ago.”

“You weren’t the only one,” he mutters before taking a sip of his drink.

While I know Louis has only ever had my back, I feel a strong sense of defensiveness over my family. Sure, we went through our share of difficult times, but they’re still my blood. “Maybe this is a sign that it’s time I start supporting them.” I let out a deep breath and settle my gaze on Louis. “Besides, I’m not losing anything. The discharge wasn’t my choice, but it was the right one.”

“You won’t even consider an appeal?”

My face tightens in frustration, the temptation of appealing the Air Force’s decision far too great to ignore, but I tell him exactly what I’ve been telling myself ever since I anticipated my discharge looming. “Between my vision and physical therapy alone, I’ve got months before I’d be able to appeal.”

Louis tilts his head. “What’s going on with your vision?”

I sigh while shrugging. “Everything’s blurry. Doc says it’s from the brain trauma, so vision therapy has been helpful, but not enough to fly again. We think corrective surgery will do the trick. No one can be certain. Even after I get that, it could be months before I’d pass an eye exam the FAA would approve of.”

His shoulders slump. “That’s shitty, dude. I’m sorry you’re going through all this. You got the worst of it out of everyone in your squadron.”

He’s right, and I’m more grateful for that than he’ll ever know. We’re also all lucky to be alive.“Right,” I tell him. “And the last thing I want to do is take a spot from someone deserving. Someone healthy. That just wouldn’t be fair.”

“You’re the most deserving man I know.”

We clink our glasses to that. If there’s anyone I’m going to miss, it’s him. We’ve been through everything together—training, school, our pilot certifications. He’s been my wingman in more ways than one.

Louis sets down his glass and sighs, a sign that he’s given up the fight. “At least tell me there’s a woman back home.” He tilts his head, the corner of his mouth tilting up. “An old girlfriend, maybe. Someone you’ve been rekindling the flame with.” He frowns then shakes his head, answering his own question. “Never mind. You already told me you didn’t leave a girlfriend behind.” He perks up again. “It’s your nurse, isn’t it? You fell for her, and quitting the Air Force is going to be your grand romantic gesture?”

I scrunch my face and shake my head. “My sister, Silver, is my nurse, you asshat. No way.”

He raises his hands in defeat. “Shit, sorry. I tried. So, no girl then.”

While he continues to stare off into space, my mind projects an image I don’t expect—of a woman I met recently, only once. My brother’s girlfriend’s best friend. Olivia Jade. Not only is she drop-dead gorgeous, with her curly brown hair, bright green eyes, and dazzling smile—but she’s got a feistiness to her I find absolutely intimidating.

She was the first woman I saw when we entered the art museum on San Juan Island for my brother’s gallery showing, but of course she hadn’t seen me right away. She was busy cheering on her best friend, Brooklyn. We were introduced after the show, and I still remember every moment of our interaction.

Our first handshake had lasted a second too long, and I knew it was all my fault. I was frozen, looking up at her from the wheelchair I was in at the time, unable to look away from those long, fluttering dark lashes and bright green eyes. Olivia Jade was a masterpiece in human form—a woman who captured my heart with one single glance. Before that night, I would have laughed at the idea of love at first sight. But at that moment, I would have bet all my cards on it.

“There’s no girl,” I tell Louis because I can’t possibly tell him I’m obsessed with a woman I’ve only met once.

My answer doesn’t appease him. “Well, shit. You’ve worked so hard to be here. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Flying is in your blood. It’s who you are.” As strong as I’m trying to be, his words are weighing heavy on my heart. “I’m not giving up on you, Lieutenant. You were meant to fly.”

My throat tightens with the emotion that’s been building for so long. I’ve spent months setting myself up for the possibility that my career could end like this. But it doesn’t matter how much I prepared for it—there’s no escaping the pain that knots my insides.

Louis is right. Flying has been embedded in me as much as my DNA since I was a young boy. Which is why getting discharged from the Air Force breaks my heart, but the possibility of never being able to fly again haunts me. Is that what it’s come to? Will I never be able to fly again, even as a civilian? Fear wraps its cold claws around me. Given the injuries I sustained on duty nearly one year ago, it will take work, and a whole lot of luck, to be able to fly again.

Shoving down my deeply seeded insecurities, I raise my glass to Louis, ready to end this conversation and return home to Orcas Island, Washington. “To the skies,” I say, my emotions sinking into my familiar cheers.

He meets my glass with his and gives me a wholehearted nod. “And beyond.”