Hermes by B.J. Irons
Chapter 1
The menace.The conniver.The trickster.The thief.The deceiver.The corruptor.
Yes, I may have been known for these things and more. Yet, those who referred to me as such were accurate in their statements.
Although one would think I should have turned out differently based on who and what my parents were. Anyone who doesn’t live under a rock knows who my father is. Zeus, King of Gods. Roar of thunder hear his cry and fear his lightning bolts. Certainly a fierce creature to behold he was, but also very solemn for the most part, if he wasn’t displaying his seductive charm and power in the bedroom with every nymph, goddess, and exceptionally beautiful mortal, much to his wife, Hera’s chagrin.
When Hera is away, the King of the Gods will play.
And my mother, Maia, was one of his many sexual conquests. Well, my father may have considered them sexual conquests from his own perspective, but most of the other women viewed themselves as his victims.
Maia was a mountain nymph, one of the seven Pleiades, the eldest of all her sisters. Daughters of the famous Titan, Atlas, and the Oceanid, Pleione. Although it was odd that Pleione was an Oceanid, but spent her skills and energy tending to various flocks. But who am I to judge those who go against the grain?
Not only was my mother the eldest of her sisters, but she was also supposedly shy and avoided the courtship and dalliance of many handsome pursuers who sought her hand in marriage.
Needless to say, that was what drew Zeus into her. Naturally, the most ferocious of lions would always hold the dainty and elegant gazelles as their primary targets. This predator and prey relationship between Zeus and Maia was no different.
The only flaw to this logic was that most women who Zeus made advances towards gave into him right away. Who were they to dismiss the King of the Gods? Well, he had finally met his challenge, and it was with the eldest Pleiade.
Although, Zeus was quite cunning in how he approached his conquests. Perhaps that is where I got it from? Anyway, it wasn’t until Maia visited the highest cave on Mount Cyllene that he decided to bombard her. My mother often visited this cave alone. It was her place of sanctuary, where she often came to meditate and gather her thoughts. Sure enough, the omniscient thing that he was, Zeus watched over her and picked up on this pattern. So, he knew the prime time to reveal himself to her alone was when she visited here.
He spoke of his many accomplishments, his godly powers, and the riches he would adorn her with if she were to succumb to him. And just like all the rest, my mother soon fell victim to his seduction, swooning over the god.
My mother was weak like the rest of the women that thought the King of the Gods would grant them everything they could ever wish for if they bedded him. Zeus too was weak for being the most powerful man in all existence and to only use that power for the most miniscule of things. The two were evidently meant for each other.
But once all was said and done, I was their outcome. Their result. Just after they made love to each other, my mother became pregnant fairly quickly. In a matter of days, her stomach enlarged, and I was born just within a week. Such is the nature of birthing the offspring of a god.
Maia had no assistance, no one to help her with the painful delivery. Her screams echoed across the hollow walls of the Mount Cyllene cave, never to be heard by a single soul. But before she could even open her eyes to stare at her beloved child, I was out of that cave in the blink of an eye.
Quickly, I scurried off, with a mind of my own, wanting to explore the world and all that it had to offer me. And if the world didn’t want to offer me anything, I’d be sure to trick and deceive it to get what was being held back from me. After all, it was all mine for the taking.
Where was I journeying to? I hadn’t the slightest clue. I just merely followed my instincts. In just a matter of hours, I turned from a crawling infant into a walking adolescent. And soon, a full-fledged man with toned muscles and curly blonde locks of hair.
While on my adventure, I stumbled upon a peculiar creature in a forest I passed. It was the slowest of animals I had so far encountered on my trek. It had a hard outer shell and appeared to blend in with the forest grasses. A turtle is what some would describe it as. I claimed the shell as my own and came up with an idea. I could make something of this tough shell with the proper materials. Strings of some sort. Sturdy pliable strings that could easily be plucked to produce a sound that would echo off of the circular, hollow space that the shell formed with its unique, cupped shape.
My feet eventually carried me to the floating island of Delos. It wasn’t difficult to reach the high up destination. After all, it was still bound to the sea by Poseidon with steel chains holding it in place in the air.
I swiftly climbed the chains to reach the paradisical place. There was something about this location that caused a stir within me. I could feel it creeping inside my skin. A sense that I was among other great powers here on this island. Other gods and goddesses were present.
And sure enough, my instincts proved to be true. I crept behind a boulder and studied a broad man herding cattle. “Apollo…” I mumbled under my breath, my mind recalling his name and these facts about him that I had no idea how I was able to gather. Shaking my head, I decided to dispel the thought. Of course, I was able to know who he was without ever having met him. I was a son of Zeus, after all. Occult powers and mysteries ebbed and flowed in my veins. This was one of them, in having memories and knowledge stored in my mind that were acquired innately.
I scrutinized Apollo carefully over the next several days, catching on to his every move. His patterns became almost instinctive to me, and I realized all the actions he was going to take prior to him even performing them.
Until I was sure he would leave his cattle unattended for, for a few hours, I would take my turn in performing my initial act of trickery. I was certain it would be the first of many more to come.
Now, I was an amateur at this point. So, my art in thievery was not full-proof right away. I managed to use stalks from the fields of Delos to create a multitude of sandals that I would place on each of the cow’s feet. With my powers, I cast a spell on each of the shoes so that it would force the cattle to walk backwards when I placed them on their hooves. Surely, if Apollo tried to follow the footprints, he wouldn’t choose to back-pedal and search that way, would he? At least, I assumed not.
As the cows followed my lead, I couldn’t help but imagine what the insides of them looked like. It was a crude thought for sure, but nevertheless, I was inquisitive. They were heavy and thick creatures. Surely, they had to have something within them that I could find useful. And so, I decided it was worth sacrificing one of them to quench the thirst of my curiosity. I retrieved the knife from my tunic, the very same one I used to cut the stalks of thick grass to form the sandals, and began mutilating a single cow. Its blood splattered in my face and all over my body, but I continued to slice its hide, getting deeper into its guts, until I pulled out a long strand from within it. Its entrails were malleable and elastic. Just perfect. The very thing I was looking for to add to the tortoise shell I acquired a few days ago.
Now that I had what I needed, there was still a gory mess that had to be cleaned up. But I couldn’t just carry the dead cow on my back, nor could I just make it vanish into thin air. So, I laid the cow on its stomach in the field, and did my best to clear up the traces of blood and spewed guts around it. Maybe whoever found it would assume it was in a deep slumber, which was partially true. It was, in fact, in a deep slumber, a deep permanent one.
Once I made quick work of the deceased animal, I continued to herd the others into the high thickets, so that they could be concealed, while I sprinted to a nearby pond to wash myself of the cow’s blood that was still all over me. Time was of the essence and I couldn’t completely clean myself fully. I allowed some dried specs of blood to still linger on my body. With the minimal time I had left, I attached the entrails to the turtle shell I had. As I plucked on it, a beautiful melodic noise erupted from the instrument.
Splendid!
When I made my way back to the remaining cattle, my eyes widened, shocked that I was no longer the only one present with them. Apollo stood among the crowd, his face distraught, holding an angry expression.
He began to shout, while I hid from him nearby. “You can come out now, whoever you are! The jig is up! Show yourself, or else I will inform my father, Zeus, of this crime and he will condemn you to a fate worse than me!”
Just who did Apollo think he was, trying to scare me?
He would be in for a rude awakening to learn that the very same man he spoke of was my father, too. However, knowing I was in the wrong and caught red-handed, literally with slight traces of dried blood on me, I decided to step out and reveal myself to him.
I held a coy smirk on my face as I approached Apollo. Despite the fact that I wasn’t as careful with my deceit and was apprehended nevertheless, I was impressed with Apollo. He wasn’t nearly as dumb as I had anticipated. Clever, that one was.
His eyes bulged the second he saw me. “Hermes!?” he blurted out loud.
“The one and only!” I confidently replied.
“Did you do this!?” he aggressively stated, sounding extremely accusatory. “Did you steal my cattle and even… kill one of them!?”
His feet stomped in my direction as I held my hand up to block him. “Now, now, Apollo. Let’s be reasonable about this. I couldn’t resist! Those cattle were so sacred to you. I’ve watched you raise them,” I explained.
“And you thought that gave you the right to take them from me!?” He lunged forward at me, in an attempt to wrap his fists around my throat.
I side-stepped, avoiding his contact with me, creating more of a distance between us. Apollo clearly wasn’t in the mood to follow logic and reasoning.
Everything I was saying was going in one of his ears and right out of the other. If words would not get to him, then perhaps a soothing sound would. So, I pulled out the turtle shell with the attached entrails.
“So, is that why you killed my cow? To make this… thing!?” he shouted when he saw the instrument I was holding.
“It’s not just any thing, Apollo. Here… listen.” I plucked the thinly carved intestines of the cow with my delicate fingers. A beautiful sound was elicited by the object. Apollo paused in his tracks as I continued to strum the instrument.
Upon hearing the sound, I could sense Apollo was calming down. His entire demeanor suddenly changed, and he instantly relaxed.
“What is it?” he asked, with more sincerity rather than annoyance.
“Let’s call it a lyre for now,” I recommended, continuing to swipe my fingers across the various different entrails wrapped along the inside of the turtle shell, creating a variety of distinct sounds that worked together to create a harmonic hymn.
Apollo was instantly entranced, his oceanic eyes glowing with intrigue.
“Would you happen to have another lyre you could give me? It’s the least you could do.”
I could see right where Apollo was going with this. He assumed I owed him a favor for what I did to his cattle. And I thought I was the devious one here.
I placed my hand over my forehead and shook it while chuckling. “Of course not! That’s the reason I had to come here to get my hands on one of your sacred cows, in order to make it to begin with.”
“Well, since my cows are so valuable to you in order to make these lyres, why don’t we have a trade-off?”
I rubbed my chin, deep in thought. “What kind of trade-off?”
“What if I handed you over all of my cattle in exchange for the current lyre that you have?” he explained. I was surprised he was so willing to just hand over his cattle to me. I thought they were so sacred to him. Evidently not. He must have seen more value in the lyre I created.
“Hmmm. I’ll have to take some time to think about it more. Weigh out my options,” I replied.
“Well, there’s nothing to think about,” he asserted. “I am doing you a favor with this trade. For if you don’t accept these terms, I will go to our father and inform him of your treachery and deceit towards me. I wonder what he would say about it? I’m certain he wouldn’t be pleased.”
Was he threatening me!? The very nerve of my brother!
But I knew when my back was against a wall. And it was firm against one right now. Zeus would be enraged if he learned of how I desecrated his golden son’s cattle. I would surely be punished for my crimes. So, I had no choice but to give in to Apollo’s demands.
“Fine. I’ll take the cattle. But next time, I won’t be so willing.” I bitterly threw the lyre in his direction to catch before I ran off, too outraged to allow this conversation to pursue any further.
As I sped off, I thought to myself, trying to be as rational as possible. This wasn’t that great of a loss for me. I soon realized that I shouldn’t dwell on Apollo one-upping me in this instance. I was still young and fairly inexperienced in this world. Plus, losing this battle to Apollo was minuscule, practically insignificant. I had much higher goals and aspirations to accomplish. Greater things to steal, like the hearts of the gods.