The Protege by Cole Denton

Hollis

Twenty-four-years-old | December

Iwas bent at the waist with my right palm resting against my knee. Sweat dripped off my face and hit the mat below. I stared at the droplets of sweat as fans cheered and the referee began speaking.

Stand upright. Don’t be a dick. You did this to yourself, I reminded myself.

I straightened to being fully upright just as the referee announced Brendan Rowe as the winner. At least my first loss was to a fighter I respected and wanted to be like. I turned to face Brendan, and we came together to bump fists followed by a hug. Brendan put his hand up to block people from seeing his mouth as he spoke close to my ear.

“Keep at it, Hollis. You’re a force, man. You’re the new face of this sport. Don’t get down on yourself. You fought a good fight,” he said to me.

“Thank you. Great fight, Brendan,” I managed to say as I patted his back.

This was my first loss; therefore, it was a loss for everyone at Team Dragon. I let all my trainers and coaches down. My entire team was waiting for me at the foot of the stairs as I exited the cage.

“Sorry, guys,” I said.

Marty pulled me close and spoke into my ear.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about, kid. You’ve had a rough month. We’ll take some time off and refocus after the first of the year. Your family comes first.”

“You guys are my family too,” I told him.

As I walked past the row of seats where I knew some of my family were sitting, I couldn’t bring myself to look at them. Only Morgan and my grandparents were able to make the trip. Regardless of who was or wasn’t here, I’d let my entire family down too. With everything that had happened, I couldn’t even get a win to show them that I appreciated their support.

When I got backstage, I quickly wiped my face off and pulled on a white t-shirt with the Team Dragon logo on it. Normally, I had a few minutes to myself, then I’d shower and get ready for the press conference. I wasn’t in the mood for the press conference and just wanted to get it over with.

“Hey, are you heading out there for the conference now?” Patrick asked.

“Yeah, I just want it over with.”

“Here, take these then.” My agent shoved a bottle of the sports drink that sponsored me in my hand. He put one of the Team Dragon baseball caps on my head and reminded me to turn my head to the left and right so the sponsors’ logos had equal time being seen during the press conference. I nodded and headed to the banquet hall where the conference would take place.

This press conference would be the first for me as a losing fighter. It wasn’t something I was proud of, nor would I grow complacent or comfortable with. This was a terrible position to be in. I gathered my thoughts as best as possible as I climbed the steps to the stage. I shook hands with all the people that I was expected to. The TCF owner, Vin, tightened his grip on my hand so I wouldn’t walk away.

“Relax, Hollis. This happens to everyone. Everyone loses a fight at some point. You just happened to go incredibly long before you were handed a loss. It’ll be okay,” he said.

“Thanks. It’s just a terrible feeling. I don’t like it.”

“I know you don’t. And I don’t expect you’ll have many of these. Will it happen again? Of course. But you’ll rebound well.”

“I will,” I promised.

“It’s not such a bad thing to show the world you’re human, just like the rest of us.” Vin winked at me and then let go of my hand. He patted my arm and then my upper back as I walked to the chair that was for me.

I set the bottle of the bright blue sports drink on the table and made sure to twist the cap off and take a sip with the label facing the cameras. As flashes of lights went off, my mind flashed back to Chase. I wondered if he felt sick every time a camera flashed. My agent began selecting reporters to ask a question. I made sure to turn my head in the direction of the reporter asking and by the fourth question, I realized my agent was taking care of selecting questions alternating from the left and right side of the room. That way as long as I looked in the direction of the question, the sponsors’ logos would be seen.

“Hollis, you’ve given us six years of nothing but victories. Did you think you were going to lose tonight?”

“No. I prepare as best as I can. But I never step into the cage thinking I’m going to win or lose.”

“Hollis, four years ago you became the youngest fighter to win a TCF title match. Why lose now?”

What the fuck kind of question was that? I didn’t even know how to answer that. I took the cap off of the bottle and gulped down some of the blue liquid.

“Understand that I didn’t step into the cage expecting to lose. Or win. It’s just what the cards had in store for me tonight. Brendan Rowe is an incredible fighter, and he’s someone I’ve looked up to ever since I learned about the sport.”

“So is the loss just the way the cookie crumbled today?”

The reporter’s question drew many laughs. I was sure they were laughing at the reference of my age. Keep your cool. Stay professional. I glanced at my agent, and he quickly selected another reporter to ask their question.

“Hollis, did you train for this fight as you do for all your other fights? Or was this one different?”

Fuck. Everyone was looking for a reason or answers as to why I’d lost. Couldn’t I even lose without getting the third degree?

“The training was the same. Physically everything was the same. The level of mental intensity was a bit different.”

“Why was the mental aspect different?”

“I have some things going on outside of the cage.”

“Troubles with the ladies?” someone asked without being called on.

“It’s a private family matter that I’d rather not go into.”

“Does this have anything to do with the increased security for your family members?”

I frowned and looked at my agent. How did anyone know I had increased security? Did people pay that much attention to who was around me or my family? Questions started being hollered out, and a bit of commotion erupted.

“Why did you have to increase security?”

“Are there threats to your family?”

“Is there a connection to the increased security of the young model, Haley Cooper?”

“Is this why your parents and youngest brother were absent from the fight tonight?”

“Were you distracted by whatever is going on with your family?”

My agent, Corey, made his way to the stage as the questions kept coming.

“Hollis, are you or your family members in immediate danger?”

“Hollis, do you think Marcos Silva is behind any of the threats to your family?”

“Hollis, it’s no secret Marcos Silva has been gunning for you inside and outside the cage. Could Silva be to blame?”

Vin stepped to the podium and a loud, piercing buzzing noise filled the room when he turned the mic on.

“Quiet! This press conference is over! Any of you who spoke out of turn will have your access badges confiscated before you leave. You know better than to conduct yourselves in this fashion. TCF press conferences are run with order, professionalism, and as a courtesy. The press conference has concluded,” Vin sternly said into the microphone.

“Come on, let’s go, Hollis,” Corey said as he guided me toward the stage stairs. My security guys were right there and guided me to the door. I stopped suddenly and glanced around.

“Where’s Patrick?” I asked Steve.

“Alfonso is in the hallway with him. He’s safe,” Steve assured me.

Once I saw Patrick, I felt better. I hadn’t even given Marcos Silva a thought, and though I knew he had nothing to do with Chase and the photographer, I had grown paranoid because my grandparents were somewhere with Morgan.

“Steve, can you make sure Morgan and my grandparents get to their rooms okay?”

“I’ll make sure our security team is on it.”

“Can’t you go?” I asked.

“I can’t leave your side, Hollis.”

“Why? Is there a problem or is something going on?” I asked.

“No. You know how it is, Hollis. I’m not doing my job if I don’t have you in my sight.”

I nodded. The main four security guards, Steve, Alfonso, Jacobi, and Zed had to be with me, for the most part.

“We’ll escort you back to your dressing room, Hollis,” Steve said.

“You can get changed and showered,” Patrick said as we started to walk down a hallway.

“Actually, I think I just want to go up to my suite. I’ll shower and change there, and then Morgan and my grandparents can come up there and we’ll have dinner.”

“Are you sure?” Patrick asked.

“Yeah, I need to be out of the public eye right now. I just want to unwind with you and have dinner with them,” I murmured so only Patrick would hear.

“Okay, you won’t hear any complaints from me,” he said.

“Steve, I’m just going to go up to my suite. Can you get a message to Morgan and my grandparents?”

“Of course.”

“Let them know to come to my suite in an hour for dinner, please.”

Jacobi and Zed gestured to another hallway that would take us to a set of elevators that would get Patrick and me up to our rooms. Once on the floor of our suites, the four security guards that rode up in the elevator with Patrick and me took seats outside my room and Patrick’s.

Patrick walked to his door a short distance from mine.

“Patrick.” He stopped and turned to look at me when I called his name. “See you in about an hour for dinner,” I said. Was it necessary to say? Probably not, but both of us understood the importance of keeping up appearances.

“See you then,” he said.

I held the key card to my suite over the card reader by the door and stepped inside once the door clicked open. I closed and locked the door to my suite before I went to the door that connected my suite and Patrick’s. I unlocked it and waited for just a few moments before the door opened and Patrick walked through.

I reached out and took hold of the hem of his black Team Dragon polo and pulled him closer. I curled my hands around his shoulders and backed him against the wall. His warm breath blanketed my skin as I stared into his eyes. He put a hand on the back of my neck and gripped my bicep with his other hand. I felt myself leaning on him for strength.

Behind closed doors, I was completely at ease with Patrick. Not only was he one of the very few people who knew what was going on in my life, but he was the only one to have a fragment of understanding of what Chase was feeling. Patrick had been there for me and our family through all of this. I’d fought tooth and nail this past month to stay in control and keep a strong face. The pressure of TCF and trying to protect what I’d built had been incredibly demanding. No matter how hard I tried to keep the balls I was juggling in the air, they all came crashing down tonight.

Patrick was the only one that I could let my guard down with. He was the only person that I could relax in front of and didn’t expect anything from me.

“Patrick,” I murmured.

I leaned forward and crushed my mouth against his. For a few moments, our hands roughly rubbed or squeezed one another’s skin while our tongues moved against each other’s. I was starting to get hard but found it uncomfortable because I was still wearing this damn protective cup from the fight. I pulled my mouth back and leaned my forehead against his. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Everything was finally hitting me. The stress had been real, and it all fell apart on me tonight. I tried to push it away, though, for now.

“Hollis,” Patrick whispered.

“We don’t have much time. My grandparents and Morgan will be here in less than an hour. Come take a shower with me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Patrick, in the past month I hardly know whether I’m coming or going. I hardly know what end is up lately. You are the only thing I’m dead sure about.” I pulled my forehead off his and kissed it. “Come take a quick shower with me. Let me get lost with you for a little while.” I swallowed hard and was suddenly nervous that he’d turn me down. “Please, Patrick.”

“Let’s go,” Patrick said as he patted my side.

I took the time during the walk to the bathroom to take a few more deep breaths and get my head screwed on straight. I reached into the shower and turned the handle to the right so the water would begin to warm up. Patrick and I each quickly took our clothes off and then stepped into the shower.

The water was a little colder than I would have liked, but it would warm up quickly. I grabbed the shower gel, poured a bunch onto the sponge, then rubbed the sponge around on my chest. I scrubbed my groin and tossed the sponge on the tiled bench along the back wall of the shower.

I guided Patrick out from under the spray of the water and toward the bench. He propped his foot up on the bench while I lathered my hard dick. I always made sure we either had lube or that I was well lathered so I didn’t hurt him.

I could tell by the way that I was feeling that I really needed to fuck hard. Patrick had taken it roughly from me, but I’d always taken care of him and made sure it wasn’t just always about me. With everything that had been going on, though, I was constantly worried about people thinking about me being selfish. If there was one person that I never wanted to come across as selfish with, it was Patrick.

“Are you sure you want to?” I asked him while I continued to lather my dick.

“Hell yeah.” Patrick leaned forward a bit and put his forearms against the shower wall.

“Seriously, though, I need to go hard,” I warned.

“I’m not moving.” Patrick looked over his shoulder at me. “Go hard, Hollis. Do what you need to. I’m here.”

“Okay, but if it becomes too much—”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll tell you to stop. Come on, Hollis. Give me something good to think about while we’re having dinner with your grandparents.”

I huffed out a laugh and stepped closer to him. I tugged one of his ass cheeks to the side, lined my cock up, and pushed into him. It was all at once, but I had enough control to at least go slow. As soon as I was all the way in, I stood still for a moment. Being in him felt amazing, and he was always what I needed. He was so kind and generous to always give himself to me whenever I needed and wanted.

I took hold of his wet hips and forced everything out of my mind except for Patrick. I poured all my anger, disappointment, fear, anxiety, stress, and sadness into fucking him. For several minutes I fucked him roughly and relentlessly. When I came, I felt an incredible release and purged everything I had been feeling since the last time we fucked. I remained in him but lowered my head to rest on his shoulder. All we could hear was our heavy panting and the water from the shower.

I pried my hand from his hip to wrap it around his shaft. A few long, firm strokes and a slight rub under the head of his dick turned Patrick’s body tight and tense. His head rolled to the side and bumped into mine, and I raised my head off his shoulder to give him some room. He leaned his head back and kept it still against the side of my head and top of my shoulder. Hearing his quiet moans made me smile because I knew he felt good. And with all the shitty experiences he’d ever had with sex, I never wanted a time with me to be terrible.

Within seconds, his ass tightened and pulsated around my cock. He had closed his mouth tightly and tried to keep as quiet as he could. As his chest rose and fell rapidly, I continued to stroke his cock while thick ropes of cum burst from him. I let go of his hip and rubbed my hand around his abdomen and chest while he relaxed. Both of us started to laugh. It was just a chuckle at first, and then it grew in volume. I wrapped both my arms around him and playfully tightened my grip.

“Shh, one of these days they’re going to hear us,” he said quietly.

Sometimes I didn’t think I’d give a fuck if anyone heard, or if anyone saw us together in a way that might make them wonder if there was more to us than eternal friendship. Patrick and I knew we were closer than friends. But unfortunately, the world was an unforgiving place. I didn’t want to share Patrick with the world. People could criticize me or scrutinize me all they wanted, but they had no right to try to hurt or take aim at Patrick. He was mine to protect.

I exhaled loudly before I planted a kiss on the top of Patrick’s shoulder. Recent events had reminded me that I wasn’t that great of a protector, though. I was supposed to protect my family and keep them all safe. Chase nearly killed himself right under my nose. He could have died that day, but Patrick got to him. I kissed his shoulder again as we shared the quiet moment in the shower.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“I always feel better when I’m with you,” I reassured him.

Patrick rarely asked for reassurance, but he needed it. He’d sit and worry or fret for days before he’d ask me something. And buried in the question would be a hidden question that was full of need. My response could either lift him up and relax him or push him further into the dark hole he couldn’t help but visit from time to time.

“Did I hurt you?” I asked in all seriousness. I never wanted to hurt him.

Patrick blew out a laugh and swatted at the air.

“No way. You couldn’t hurt me.” He laughed and played it off as if the idea was ludicrous.

“I’m sorry we don’t have more time,” I said. Time was ticking away, and soon my brother and grandparents would be on their way.

“It’s not a problem. We were able to have some time together.”

“We’ll have more time later tonight.”

Both of us quickly washed and rinsed off before I shut the water off.

“I’ll be back in a little bit,” Patrick said and then started out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and his dirty clothes in his arms.

“Hey,” I called out to him. Patrick stopped in the doorway of the bathroom and turned to look at me. I wrapped the towel around my waist and stepped in front of him. I pressed my mouth against his and gave him a quick kiss. “Love you,” I murmured against his lips.

“Love you too.” A huge smile forced its way onto his face, and then he left the room.

I got dressed in jeans, a navy t-shirt, and put my shoes on. I went into the living room and looked outside. It was dark, but you’d never know it unless you looked straight up at the sky. The Strip was lit up brightly and it gave off a friendly, welcoming, and good mood vibe. The glitz and warm lights of the city could probably mask just about anything. But I was feeling pretty shitty.

I took a bottle of water and stepped outside onto the balcony. Though it was cold outside, the chilled air felt good on my warm skin. I sipped the water and set my hand on the railing. While I was lost in my thoughts, the ringing phone interrupted me. I headed inside and jogged to the phone.

“Hello,” I said into the receiver. I was pretty sure it’d be my parents.

“Hollis.” Chase! “It’s Chase,” he said.

“Of course, it’s you! Don’t you think I’d recognize you on the phone?”

My heart pounded in my chest. I was excited he was on the other end. Though we were brothers and had what I thought had been a best friend type of relationship, everything since last month had been so awkward. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

“I don’t know. I guess. Um, I’m sorry about the fight,” he said. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he felt the awkwardness too.

“Yeah. Thank you. It sucks for sure, but it happens.” I tried to sound as encouraging as Vin tried sounding earlier. I felt bad I had let Chase down … in a long line of let downs.

Patrick walked in and looked at me. I pointed to the phone and said, “Chase.” Patrick gave me a thumbs-up, nodded, and sat on the couch.

“Yeah?” Chase asked.

“Nothing, I was just telling Patrick that you were on the phone.”

“Cool. Tell him hi for me.”

“Patrick, Chase says hello,” I said.

“Tell him I said hey,” Patrick said in an eager tone.

“Did you hear that?” I asked Chase. I had hoped Chase had heard Patrick’s greeting because he sounded like he was excited to hear I was on the phone with Chase.

“I heard.”

Patrick and I both glanced at the door when we heard the knock. I made a face at Patrick and silently pleaded with him to get the door. He understood that I needed to try to talk to Chase at least for a few minutes. Patrick held his hands up and mouthed “relax” to me. I nodded and then walked toward the door to the balcony.

“So what’s new? What are you up to tonight?” I asked him as I stepped outside with the phone.

“Nothing. I got pizza with Mom and Dad, and we watched your fight.”

I clamped my mouth shut and tried inhaling air slowly and deeply. I felt even worse that they'd bothered to tune in to watch my fight, and I couldn’t even give them a reason to watch.

“Thank you for watching, Chase. It means a lot to me.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t come. I wanted to. But you know… Mom and Dad don’t want to add stress and shit.”

“They probably enjoyed it just as much to be able to relax at home with you and get pizza,” I said.

“I guess.”

It killed me to hear him like this. I could feel how down he was, and I hated being so far from him. I turned to look inside and waved at Morgan and my grandparents. Patrick was doing fine talking to them, and then he let the room service folks come in and set the table for us.

“Did I look really bad on TV tonight?” I asked him.

“No. You could never look bad, man. Brendan Rowe was just one step ahead of you tonight. I could tell you weren’t really feeling it tonight. You seemed distracted. I’m sorry my shit has spilled over into your stuff—”

“Chase, no. Don’t. Yes, I’m worried about you. I love you so much, and all of this and what that son of a bitch did boils my blood. But it’s not your fault. Okay?”

“Okay.”

The soft timbre of his tone told me he didn’t believe me. Over my shoulder Morgan was waving at me. I waved and then held up my index finger asking him to give me a few minutes.

“So, it’s the weekend. Anything planned for tomorrow?” I asked and turned my back to the suite. I sat on the chair on the balcony and gazed at the lights on the hotel across the street.

“No. Just more of staying home and under the eyes of our parents.” He sighed. “So, what are you doing tonight?”

“Um, not much.” I turned my head to look over my shoulder at everyone in the suite and then quickly turned back around.

“How’s school going?” I asked.

“Fine, I guess.”

“You guess? You aren’t sure?” Normally, well, before last month, I would have been able to ask him that and get him laughing. But not this time.

“I guess it’s fine. I mean, I have no freedom at all now. Security takes me to and from school. Mom and Dad are nosy and on me all the time. They ask who I had lunch with and who I’m on the phone with all the time. There’s a winter dance coming up, and I told Mom and Dad I wanted to take Haley. But there’s crazy shit going on with Haley’s mom, and I’m not allowed to take her. So yeah, I guess school is fine.”

This was a hard topic to teeter around with him. I didn’t have all the details exactly, but I knew Mom and Dad had met with Haley’s mom. She was just as upset as our parents were, but also was harsh on Chase. She acknowledged Chase was forced as well, but she said she doesn’t want Chase near Haley or to have any more contact with her. Chase was starting to get worked up, though, and it was important that I try to calm him down. The last thing I wanted, and I knew all of us feared, was for Chase to get upset and then go do something to hurt himself.

“I’m sorry, bub. Things are kind of messed up right now.”

“They fucking suck,” he added. In the background I could hear Mom asking him what happened and what was he saying sucked. Chase exhaled loudly before he answered her. “Nothing. Nothing sucks. No one sucks. Everything is fine,” he mumbled.

“Hey, Chase,” I said to grab his attention.

“I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon. How about I swing by the house, and you and I go get pizza?”

“Yeah?” He sounded like he didn’t believe my offer.

“Yes. I’m craving pizza and really want to see you. We’ll do dinner tomorrow night.”

“And Patrick too?”

I couldn’t tell if he wanted Patrick to come along or not. Though, the two of them had become even closer since last month, I didn’t want to assume anything.

“Would you like him to come too?”

“Yeah. I haven’t seen him in a while either. I talk to him on the phone, but it’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen him too.”

“Okay, consider it done. I’ll call you as soon as we land.”

“Okay. Don’t come get me, though, if you smell like the plane. People smell weird after they’ve been on a plane.”

I laughed. There’s my little brother.

“I will make sure Patrick and I go home and shower before we come to pick you up. No plane people smell, I promise.”

I turned around when the door to the balcony opened. Morgan gestured upward with his head to me.

“Dinner is on the way up,” Morgan said.

“Who is that?” Chase quickly asked. “Is that Morg?” Chase suddenly sounded annoyed and irritated.

“Um, yeah. He’s here with Grandma and Grandpa. They came to the fight, and we’re going to have dinner,” I explained.

“Cool. Have fun. Later,” Chase said sharply just before the line went dead.

“Fuck,” I said under my breath. I stood and looked at Morgan.

“Rough chat with Chase?” he asked.

“Yeah. He’s kind of all over the place.”

I left it at that and stepped inside the suite with him. I set the phone down and then went over to hug my grandparents.

“Thank you, guys, for making the trip,” I said. “I’m sorry it didn’t have a better outcome.”

“Stop apologizing,” Patrick said over his shoulder as he went to the door to let the servers in.

“Yes, Hollis, you listen to Patrick. No more apologizing,” Grandma said as she swatted my bicep.

We continued the small talk until the servers had set all the food out in a buffet style and then left us alone.

“I hope you guys didn’t mind having dinner up here tonight,” I said.

“Absolutely not, Hollis. I can’t even imagine how tired you are,” Grandma said. She stood on her tiptoes to reach up and try to comb her fingers through my hair that was still damp.

I motioned for everyone to go ahead of me and take their seats around the table. Grandpa broke the silence as we all piled some food onto our plates.

“Are you going to take the rest of the year off?” he asked.

“There’s not much left of the year. Just a few more weeks,” I replied.

“And it would be a good few weeks for you to take off. Rest some. Spend time with your friends and family,” he suggested.

“Yeah, maybe we can catch a Lakers game,” Morgan suggested.

“Go to an amusement park,” Patrick said.

“Spend some of that money you’ve earned,” Grandpa said.

“I spend,” I replied. Morgan and Patrick both laughed.

“Find a nice girl, and take her out to dinner,” Grandma suggested.

“Buy her flowers,” Grandpa said.

“Oh! A nice young lady would love flowers and dinner with you. You’re so handsome, Hollis,” Grandma said.

“He’s lucky his face hasn’t been broken and mangled,” Morgan said.

“Oh, now you stop that, Morgan.” Grandma playfully slapped Morgan’s arm. “Hollis will be quite the catch for some young lady. Don’t you think?” she asked him.

“Meh, I suppose he’d be a good catch for whoever he’s into. It doesn’t have to be some Hollywood damsel,” Morgan teased and then took a sip from his glass. He pointed a finger at me from the hand that was wrapped around his glass. “You’ve got to watch out for those Hollywood damsels, Hollis.”

“Yes, women could bleed you dry, Hollis,” Grandpa added.

“What do you mean?” Grandma stared at Grandpa.

“Nothing, nothing. I just meant, he’s very well-known, and his face is everywhere now.”

“Such a handsome face,” Grandma interrupted.

“And some woman could take advantage of him and take him for all he’s worth. That’s all I meant,” Grandpa explained.

I glanced at Patrick, and he seemed as happy as could be eating food and listening to my grandparents play matchmaker and psychologist with me over dinner.

“So, what’s going on with Chase? When I talked to him earlier, he said there was stuff going on with Haley’s mom.”

“Your parents met with Haley’s mom again this week. They, and Chase, have offered to help financially with the baby, but Haley’s mom said she doesn’t want or need any financial assistance. She said Haley will give the child up for adoption when it’s born, and she wants Chase to stay away,” Grandpa said.

“And sweet Chase is just trying to help and do what’s right. He’s talked about getting a job away from modeling to help with costs,” Grandma said.

“The girl’s mom is stressed, obviously, and just wants to bury all of this. By keeping Haley and Chase separated, she’s hoping they will forget about one another and probably go on about finishing high school. Your mother said that Haley’s mom pulled her out of school and is going to homeschool her for at least the remainder of the year. It sounds like the baby is due this summer.”

“It’s not going to be as simple as that,” Patrick began and then reached for another dinner roll without looking up. “You can’t go through what they went through and then just forget about it. Everything will be burned into their minds and memories forever. Things will come up that will remind them often.”

Patrick's face paled and then quickly turned a bright red when he looked up.

“I mean, I don’t have any experience with going through something like that along with someone else at the same time. So … maybe they won’t remember it… Or…” Patrick quickly looked down. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Patrick, your thoughts and opinions are always welcome,” Grandpa said.

My stomach dropped as I thought about how terrible all of this was. Patrick dealt with that crap all on his own and with no one to turn to. Chase and Haley at least had one another a little bit. Fuck. Who was I kidding? All of this sucked. I sighed loudly, and Grandpa put his hand on my shoulder and jostled me.

“This is exactly why you need to take a few weeks off, Hollis. It was very evident tonight that you’re very distracted,” Grandpa said.

“Anyone would be in this situation,” Grandma added.

“Morgan might take next semester off. Maybe you should consider taking some time off,” Grandpa added.

“When I talked to Chase a little bit ago, I told him that I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon, and Patrick and I will come get him for dinner. He seemed happy about that.”

“Did you get the warning of making sure you don’t smell like plane people?” Morgan asked.

Everyone at the table laughed because smelling as though you’d been on a plane was such a thing in Chase’s eyes.

“I did, yes.”

Morgan stayed for a little bit after dinner while Patrick volunteered to walk my grandparents back to their room. I handed Morgan a cold beer from the fridge, and we went out onto the balcony.

“So, you’re taking the semester off?” I asked Morgan.

“Yeah. Things with Chase are a mess. Mom and Dad are silently going crazy. I thought maybe I could help with taking Chase to school or some of the counseling sessions so Mom and Dad don’t have to take off so much work,” Morgan said.

“Yeah, Chase mentioned on the phone tonight that he feels like he has no freedom.”

“Mom and Dad are worried sick about him.”

“I know. I’m worried too, and I understand why Mom and Dad are worried. But he feels like he’s being suffocated. On top of which, he can’t even see the girl.” I took a sip from my bottle and leaned back in the chair. “Maybe with you helping, Chase will relax some.”

“Chase apparently is fine around Patrick.”

“Patrick understands somewhat where he’s at.”

“He’s been great and has been helping in between working, and if I just take off the semester, I can help some. And before you open your mouth, Hollis, no one expects you to do anything or take time off. No one wants you to stop what you’re doing.”

“That makes me feel like I’m being selfish and a dick.”

“You’re neither. Everyone, including Chase, wants you to succeed, Hollis. Take a few weeks off, spend some time with Chase, and things will slowly get back to being okay.”

“Will they ever be okay for Chase?”

“I don’t know, but I have a huge amount of faith that they will be.”

“Why? This is terrible shit, Morgan.”

“I know. But look at Patrick. Surrounded by people who care about him, Patrick turned out pretty good.”

“That’s true.” I nodded. I didn’t need to tell Morgan that there were still times when Patrick had a stray nightmare, or his insecurities got the best of him. Morgan knew all of this. “You know, when I heard everything that had happened, I wanted to find that man, take him out to the middle of nowhere, and beat him until he was an inch away from death. Then just leave him so he could die a slow and painful death,” I admitted.

“I know. But regardless of it being justified, you’d go to jail. And it’d probably be for a really long time because you’re basically a weapon. So instead of all of us coming together to help, it would tear the family apart. And guess who would bear the brunt of that guilt?”

“Chase.”

“Exactly. Chase doesn’t need you to get revenge for him. He needs his oldest brother whom he looks up to the most.” I nodded as Morgan flung his arm around my shoulders. “Take some time off. That’s what he needs, and that’s what you need.”

“I will,” I promised. I began to think about my training schedule and how much I could afford to take off from a training perspective.

“How’s Patrick doing?” Morgan asked out of nowhere. My mind flashed to the shower that Patrick and I shared before everyone came over for dinner.

“Patrick is doing good.”

“He looks really good. He looks happy.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I quickly thought back to what he said to our grandma during dinner about me being a great catch for anyone. It was the way he said anyone rather than a girl like Grandma had said. Did he think there was something going on between Patrick and me? I decided to not let on that I was possibly onto him for thinking something was up.

“He’s happy. He loves what he does for a living,” I confirmed.

I felt Morgan’s eyes on me and slowly turned my head to look at him. The expression on his face was one that silently asked if we were both going to play dumb. And yes, yes we were. We finished our beers and then headed inside.

“I’m going to get going. Our flight is early.”

“Thank you for coming to the fight and for helping Grandma and Grandpa get around.”

Morgan hugged me and said, “You looked good out there. You’re in the best shape of your life.” He looked me in the eyes as soon as we pulled apart. “I know your mind and heart have taken somewhat of a beating lately. Make sure you’re taking care of this,” Morgan said as he patted the side of my head.

“I am and will.” I walked him to the door. “And Patrick watches out for me.”

Morgan turned around and had a smile on his face.

“I know he does. Patrick would take a bullet for you.” I started to feel warm and nodded at Morgan. “I’ll see you back home over the next few days, Hollis.”

“See you then.”

For the rest of the evening, I watched junk TV with Patrick while in bed. Everyone had been right, I needed to at least take a few weeks to decompress and be around to support my family with Chase. Patrick and I shared a Twix candy bar in between kissing and the noise of the TV. When I turned the TV off, I rolled onto my side to face him.

“I lost tonight,” I murmured the obvious. “My perfect record is gone.”

“Yeah, but you know what?”

“What?”

“You aren’t a fighter because you’re obsessed with the records. You fight because you love it and you love to compete.”

“You’re right. It still stings, though.”

“You know what else?”

“What?”

“Win or lose, I’m always going to support you and be in your corner,” Patrick said. I smiled as I snaked my hand under the sheet and wrapped it over his waist and set it against his lower back.

“Will you always be in my bed?” I half teased. Part of me was afraid to hear his answer because he might very well want to settle down with someone and not have to hide. It was no secret that I was happiest and felt the freest with Patrick. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to share him or expose him with the world. He was my best secret and what I cherished the most.

“I’ll be wherever you want me to be.”

“Good. I’d like that, Patrick.”

When I closed my eyes tonight, I allowed myself to believe that things with Patrick would be okay out in the public eye. And they would be … in my dreams at least.