Instant Regret by Hazel Parker

Chapter 3

Carly

His body froze against mine, predicting what was to come. Dr. Dean ripped away from me, backpedaling until there was a good couple of feet between us.

“What the hell do you think you were doing?” he demanded, his voice coming out sharp and husky. “You have to go now.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled awkwardly, ducking around and nearly running out of the room. Humiliation, confusion, and hurt from the rejection filled my chest as the door slammed behind me.

Was he not coming onto me?

I shook my head at myself, trying to get control of my uneven breath as I thundered right out of the building and into the warm September air. The humidity made it hard to breathe as I raced across campus toward my apartment. I didn’t pay any attention to anyone around me, keeping my eyes focused ahead.

God, I hope Paige is there.

My stomach clenched in knots as I trotted across the street to the apartment complex. I had never in my entire life kissed someone first—well, been the first to make a move.

And I had no idea what came over me...

Except for the fact that I thought he was coming onto me—why else would he have touched my shoulder like that? Why would he have touched me at all?

I watch too many stupid romance movies.

Jogging to our bottom floor apartment, I quickly punched in the key and shoved the door open. “Paige!” I shouted, not even mad at her for the video anymore. There were so many other problems with what had just happened—and the TikTok was literally the least of them.

“What?” she stuck her head out of her bedroom, her hair damp—like she had just towel dried it. “You look sick—are you okay?” There was concern written all over her face as she stepped out into the hallway.

“I’m such a fucking idiot, Paige,” I said, throwing my backpack onto the couch. “I literally did the stupidest thing today.”

She nodded, though she looked more confused—and tired than ever. “So are you not mad at me over the TikTok? I was so drunk, Carly. I would’ve never actually done that to you, and I was just hungover and hangry this morning.”

“It’s fine—it doesn’t matter,” I said quickly, shaking my head at her. “Like that’s seriously the last thing on my mind right now.”

“Okay...” her voice trailed off as she walked around the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge and tossing it to me. “So what’s going on then? What could you have possibly done that was stupid on a Friday morning? Say the wrong answer in class?” she laughed and let out a frustrated sigh. I wished it was that simple.

“No, that’s not it. Like, I think you should sit down, Paige,” I motioned to the couch, swallowing hard as her eyes widened.

“Oh my god, what happened?” she demanded, plopping down on the couch. “Does this have something to do with Garrett? Did you skip class so you could answer another booty call from your too-old ex-boyfriend?”

“No.” I shut that topic down before it could even get started. I hadn’t thought of Garrett in a few good weeks, and I had no intentions of starting. “It’s way worse than all of that.”

“What’d you do? Murder someone?” Paige’s concerned tone was taking a turn towards irritation as she folded her arms across her chest. “You’re dragging this out, Carly. Just fucking say what you did.”

“Okay,” I snapped at her. “First of all, you’re being a little bitchy this morning, and secondly, I kissed Dr. Dean.”

Her mouth dropped open. “First of all, I’m sorry for being kind of a bitch to you, but secondly, what? You kissed him? How did that happen? When did that happen?” Her arms went loose as her eyes widened, her whole demeanor shifting to pure shock—and intrigue.

“I don’t know what the hell I was thinking,” I groaned, facepalming myself and plopping down on the couch beside her. “He literally embarrassed me in front of the whole class this morning, and then I thought it would a great idea to talk about the midterm paper—the one that’s not due for a while. He didn’t have the guidelines, so we went back to his office, and the conversation just felt... tense.”

“Oh my god, did he bend you over his desk?” Paige exclaimed, her voice full of amusement as she burst into laughter afterward.

“No!” I corrected her, swatting her arm. “It’s not funny. I seriously thought it was sexual tension building between us—and it was just something else, or maybe in my head? I don’t know, honestly. But then he just like tells me I have to go, and so I do, and his hand touched my shoulder. I don’t know what I thought, but when I turned around, he was right there... And then I kissed him,” I said with a heavy sigh.

Paige’s mouth was hanging open. “So... Then what?”

“He kissed me hardcore for like a few moments, and then he just pulled away and freaked the fuck out,” I groaned, my face falling to my hands in embarrassment all over again. “I bolted out of there and came straight here to find you. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Um, well...” Paige’s voice trailed off. “I have to say that I don’t have any experience in this area. I’ve never slept with one of my professors.”

“I didn’t sleep with him,” I corrected her. “I just kissed him—and I don’t even know why I did it. I never come onto guys. You know that.”

“I do,” Paige agreed, running her fingers through her dark waves. “But I mean, can you even get in trouble for kissing a professor? It would be on him? But you both are consenting adults, so what’s the problem?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about—or how you could even remotely support this. You know as well as I do, that it’s not a good idea. Also, I’m pretty sure he said he could get fired right before I left.”

“Well, that’s his problem, not yours.” Paige shrugged, her nonchalant tone completely baffling me.

“Like, how am I supposed to go to class every day after embarrassing myself like that?” I was exasperated, throwing my hands up in the air in frustration. “Like this can not be happening.”

“There’s a million people in that class, Carly. I don’t think you need to worry about it. Just show up and sit in the back.”

“Maybe I should send him an apology email,” I said quickly, standing back up from the couch. I started to pace the floor, shaking my head at myself. “Like and maybe I should make it clear that it was my fault, you know? Not his.”

“Okay, you’re really overthinking this,” Paige laughed. “I mean, I know that Jillian slept with like three professors back when she was in college, and I don’t think she sent any sort of apologies out to them.”

“Your sister is the epitome of a ho, and I mean that in the utmost kind of way,” I said to her, pausing my pacing for a moment to look at Paige—who still looked more amused than anything.

“Don’t you think it’s kind of hot?”

“You can’t be serious,” I countered, narrowing my eyes at her—though I held back the truth of what I really thought. If it had been mutual, like I had assumed when I had kissed him, I definitely would’ve thought it was hot. I had never fantasized about being with a professor, but I did have one hell of a crush on Dr. Dean.

“I am serious. Instead of freaking out about it—or writing some super embarrassing email, just let it go. You kissed the hottest professor on campus, and I mean, he didn’t immediately pull away. He kissed you back for a while. No one has to know anything else.”

“No one is going to know anything,” I said, folding my arms across my chest. “You better not tell anyone about this—not even Jillian.”

“Oh, come on,” Paige whined. “You know she’d get a kick out of this, and she spends her days covered in spit-up and dirty diapers, the least I can do is give her something fun to think about for once.”

“Fine, just don’t tell anyone else. I really don’t want him to get in trouble—or for me to be any more of a laughingstock to the whole campus.” I sighed, my shoulders slumping. “Also, I still think that I should send the email. Isn’t that the mature thing to do?”

“He might just want to forget that it even happened, Carly,” Paige pointed out, grabbing one of the throw blankets off the back of the couch. “Maybe we should look him up on social media and see what his life is like outside of school. I know he was like some hotshot CEO or whatever—you told me that, but we should see if he’s like married or something.”

“He doesn’t wear a ring,” I said with a shrug as she picked up her phone and held it up to her face. “And also, he obviously wasn’t interested in me since he pulled away and freaked out.”

“That doesn’t mean anything at all,” Paige waved me off, her eyes still glued to the screen. “Plenty of married guys don’t wear rings, but as for not being into you, I don’t believe that, either. He wouldn’t have kissed you back if he wasn’t somewhat into you. You’re hot as fuck, Carly. You’re nearly graduated, and you’re twenty-two years old. Literally, there’s nothing not to love about you. I bet it’s just the policy or something holding him up.”

“You have way too much confidence in me.” I rolled my eyes, but inwardly, I was hoping that she was actually right.

“Oof,” she drew out, holding out the phone. “Look at the profile pic!”

I grabbed her phone from her, looking at the professional shot of Dr. Dean on his Facebook. “God, he looks like a model,” I gasped, zooming in on the shot of him in a suit, smiling while holding some sort of drink in his hand.

“And it says he’s single,” Paige added, pointing to the bullet at the top of his profile. “So, that answers that question.”

Great.