Instant Regret by Hazel Parker

Chapter 5

Carly

I sat in front of my computer, the mouse hovering over the send button. Paige was at her new job, bartending and waiting at a bar that had just opened on the other side of town. She had begged me to come and visit before she left, but I had studying and homework to do...

And an email to write.

Despite her being wildly against the idea of an apology, I just couldn’t shake the thought that it was the right thing to do. I wasn’t the kind of person that just let things go—it wasn’t professional. If we had been in a business setting, I wouldn’t have been able to just pretend like it didn’t happen...

And I just needed to tell him that I was sorry.

Dr. Dean,

What happened in your office was highly inappropriate, and I take full responsibility for misreading the situation. Please know that it will not happen again. I apologize for making you uncomfortable.

Best,

Carly Williams

Letting out a sharp sigh, I hit the send button, not even bothering to reread the message again. I had double and tripled checked it for errors—and reworded it at least ten times. A short paragraph had taken me nearly two hours to write.

Pushing myself back from my desk, I stood to my feet, double-checking the clock. It was nearly eight-thirty on a Friday night, and I would’ve usually been going out with Paige, but she was working. I didn’t feel like calling on any other of my friends, either. I glanced in the mirror across from my bed, seeing my blonde hair falling in waves to my shoulders. I had taken the time to get ready, and I wasn’t sure why.

There was nowhere to go tonight.

My phone buzzed on my nightstand, and I reached for it, seeing a message from Paige.

He’s here.

My brows furrowed in confusion, and I quickly texted her back.

Who?

I waited for the reply, my heart pounding, wondering who the hell she was referring to. I knew there was no way that Garrett would be at Rooster’s. He wasn’t even in town anymore. And surely, she didn’t mean...

Dr. Dean.

My mouth dropped at the text, and I didn’t even know what to say—I mean, what was I supposed to do? Other than to be relieved AF that I hadn’t gone to visit Paige at work. As my fingers hovered over the keyboard and before I could type out any other kind of reply, another notification flashed across my screen.

An email.

My heart racing all over again, I clicked the banner across the top of my screen opening up the message.

Carly,

Apology accepted. However, I feel like I owe you one as well. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. If you’d like to do the interview, you’re more than welcome to come by my office any time during hours. I also met your friend, Paige, this evening. She’s an interesting character—and I believe she knows what happened in the office. Be careful who you share information with.

All the best,

Luke

“Luke,” I said aloud, noticing that he used his first name instead of his professional title.

Is he flirting with me?

I reread the message again, coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t flirting. More than likely, he was just trying to smooth over everything that happened in the office... right? I opened up a reply, my stomach fluttering as I considered playing with fire—just to see what he might say.

Thank you for accepting my apology. Paige is my best friend, and while she’s eccentric, she is trustworthy. Is Rooster’s as good as I’ve heard?

I hit send on the email, not even bothering to sign my name. It was by far the most dangerous thing I had ever done when it came to school—and the jolt of excitement through my entire body was intoxicating. I lingered in the middle of my bedroom, holding my phone, staring at the screen. Chewing on my lip, I pulled up the text thread with Paige and quickly typed out a text.

Is he there alone?

It was a stupid question—I knew that. There was no reason for me to ask about who he was with, but I couldn’t help myself. However, I didn’t have long to contemplate just how stupid it was, because Paige texted me back almost immediately.

He was with Dr. Bradley, but he left like five minutes ago. So yeah, he’s alone. You coming?

Blowing out a sigh, I glanced in the mirror again—I was dressed up. It wasn’t like I had anything else to do. I could just show up and say hi to Paige. I didn’t even have to talk to Dr. Dean.

Unless he talked to me, of course.

Before I could second guess myself, I was heading out to my car. My phone buzzed with another notification, and I saw the email from Dr. Dean. After I climbed into my car and started the engine, I opened up the message, my heart jumping.

It’s not bad. Would be better with some pretty company.

A smile tugged at my lips, and I knew that he was flirting—or maybe he was drunk. I wasn’t sure, but it was enough of a green light for me not to feel bad about showing up. Turning up the radio, I made the drive across town as quickly as possible, as I didn’t want him to leave before I got there...

Not that it would be a big deal—I was just going to see Paige, right?

The parking lot was full but I found a spot next to a black Mercedes. I saw the staff permit on the windshield, and for a second, I wondered if it was Dr. Dean’s, but I realized that there were so many people who worked at the university, it could be anyone. I took a deep breath as I walked toward the bar, smoothing out my tight black tank top.

What if other students see us together?

The thought crossed my mind as I pulled at the front door, and I nearly stopped myself. However, I knew plenty of professors who fraternized with students. It was hard not to compare college to high school, but college was different.

It’ll be fine.

“Carly!” Paige called out, waving obnoxiously as I entered the dark place. It was nice, though it wasn’t exactly what I had expected it to be—the strange paintings on the wall confused me. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to feel sad or disturbed when I looked at them.

Fucking art.

“Do you want a table?” Paige grabbed my attention back to her, and I ripped my eyes from the walls. “Or is someone expecting you?”

“Neither,” I laughed, shaking my head. “I think I’ll just go linger around the bar. “It looks like all the tables are taken, anyway.”

“He’s still here,” Paige said, her voice dropping low. “Over there.” She gestured across the bar to the darkest corner. My stomach tightened as I saw him sitting there, scrolling through his phone. In the bar setting, he didn’t appear to be nearly as intimidating, though he was still by far the most handsome man in the room. His tie was loosened, his dress shirt sleeves rolled up his forearms.

He looks like a dream.

“I don’t think I should go and see him,” I turned back to Paige, my voice coming out nervous.

“Why not? Don’t be weird, Carly. Just go over there and say hello. Just don’t linger. That’s what will make it weird. It’s not like he has any idea that you’re here.”

“Well...” my voice trailed off, and her eyes went wide.

“How?”

“I sent him an apology,” I admitted, ignoring the flustered look on my best friend’s face. “And it went really well—it just turned into more casual conversation. He mentioned that he was here...”

“And?” Paige narrowed her eyes at me. “What else?”

“He said it would be better if he had pretty company, and I don’t know if that was an invite or not, but I just thought...”

“Go over there, Carly,” Paige demanded, stepping to the side and pushing on my shoulder. “I’ll be over there to get your order in a minute. Take the risk.”

“Right,” I sighed. “The risk.” I nodded at her, and headed toward Dr. Dean’s table, excusing myself through the crowd of people that seemed to be growing the closer I got to him. When I was only a few feet away from him, he looked up from his table, his hazel eyes meeting mine.

“Ms. Williams,” he said slowly, and I struggled to read the tone in his voice. He almost seemed... irritated.

“Dr. Dean,” I said, clearing my throat. “Paige was bothering me to come and see the place. I didn’t think that you’d still be here.”

“I see,” he answered, his eyes still holding mine. “And that’s the truth?”

He saw right through me.

“It might be the partial truth,” I admitted, still lingering beside the empty bar table chair. “I figured I’d also say hello to you if you were still here.”

“I guess I could buy you a drink as an apology,” he replied, gesturing to the chair. “I mean, your friend is waiting on my table, and there’s not any empty ones.”

“Thanks,” I smiled, sliding the chair back and taking a seat. “I appreciate you accepting my apology. I don’t ever do things like that—I don’t know what came over me in the moment.”

“Right,” he chuckled, his perfect white teeth glistening beneath the dim bar lights. “I think I’ve heard that one before.”

“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “I guess that’s not the first time that’s happened then.”

“Oh no,” he shook his head. “It’s never happened. I just meant that I’ve heard that excuse before. I’ve never personally had a student try anything quite that bold.”

The heat rushed to my cheeks as my eyes fell to my hands. “Yeah, I’m really sorry—”

“What can I get you?” Paige’s voice interrupted our conversation. “You look like you need a drink, Carly.”

Dr. Dean chuckled across the table at me, and I looked up, seeing his eyes full of amusement. Something in my chest stirred at the sight of him looking at me like that—like he was only focused on me.

“I’ll have my usual,” I said to Paige, ripping my eyes from Dr. Dean.

“Yeah, I figured that’s what you’d want, I just wasn’t sure,” she gave me a smirk. “You’re venturing out of your comfort zone tonight, so I thought you might be up for trying something new.”

“That’s okay,” I said quickly, hating how blunt my best friend could be. “Just my usual.”

“Put it on my tab,” Dr. Dean spoke up just before she walked away.

“You got it,” Paige laughed as she spun around, though not before giving me a flirty knowing look.

“This is just a friendly drink,” Dr. Dean said as soon as Paige was out of earshot. “I don’t know what your friend thinks, but I have bought my students drinks before when I’ve run into them out. It’s just the courteous thing to do for a poor college student.”

I swallowed the sting of hurt. “I completely understand that.”

Which was a lie.

I had never been so confused in my entire life sitting across from my professor.