Bat and the Blitz by A. Gregory
Klaus
Sweet suffering Rudolph.
Raya Slaski is one annoying — temptingly hot — woman.
It’s not her fault that everything she does is downright aggravating. Not to mention gratingly sexy.
I should probably try to work with her. Be a team. I sure don’t want Director Cooper to make good on her threat and actually put me on the teaching roster. I’d make a horrible teacher. I don’t have the patience for it.
Case in point: I don’t have the composure to sit so close to Raya on this bumpy-ass flight.
What’s this plane made of anyway? Weld-together toy cars? I swear to the good lords of flight, I can feel every gust of wind. If we don’t land soon, I will pass out and make a total idiot of myself.
Not that it’ll take much.
Anytime I look in Raya’s direction too long, I get a little bit dizzy. The silver hoop through her right nostril blinks at me every time I glance up. I want to flick it with my finger and trace the delicate line of Raya’s nose all the way to that forehead of hers. A vein pops out of it every time I say something she disagrees with, so basically every time I open my mouth.
It’s hilarious.
It’s also a little hot.
Raya has a hard time containing her emotions, which means that she has every chance of being one hell of a firecracker in bed. I shake my head to loosen the thought. Getting all turned around because my so-called partner has pretty eyes, lush chocolate-brown waves, and a full red mouth won’t help my career.
“We’ll be landing soon,” the pilot indicates with a loud shout over the plane’s unnaturally loud din.
Seriously. Soldered tin roofs with wings does not an airplane make.
I give the woman a thankful nod and slide my tablet into my duffel. The flight is turbulent as hell, but at least, it’s coming to an end. The rest of the trek to Christmas Town has to be done by sleigh.
Yup.
Sleigh.
Because going to Christmas Town isn’t ridiculous enough, our only possible mode of transportation is a sleigh. I don’t know if Raya has been briefed about that part yet, but she’s spent the entire flight reading the case file.
Like that will help you where we’re heading.
Christmas Town is the fakest, most duplicitous place on earth.
Raya will need a lot more than studying the case notes to survive out here for two weeks. She’s going to learn the truth about a lot of things. Like how hot chocolate can easily be doctored with a fair amount of salt. How garlands can be used as rope. How ornaments can be used as missiles.
It’s not all tinsel and carols.
It’s taunting and contempt.
The landing, done on a very narrow strip of land at the very tip of Canada, is horrible. We lurch to the left, to the right, tip forward. Probably do a fairly good impression of the twist.
By the time the front wheels collide with the permafrost ground, I’m greener than a fir tree.
Shit.
I’m not even in town yet, and I’m already dropping Christmas metaphors.
I shake my head and scrub my scalp with my fingers to dislodge any other latent Christmas vocabulary that wants to make its way out. Better I do it in my thoughts than out loud for Raya to hear.
Her pale face is ashen, her knuckles white as she clutches the armrests. I feel bad for her. This is hardly a fun flight, and as someone who hates flying in general, that’s saying something.
“It’s normal for it to be like this out here.” The words leave my mouth before I can think better of it.
Raya looks up and meets my gaze with a grateful nod. It knocks out the tiny gulp of air still holding firm in my lungs. I really need to remember that this trip is about one thing and one thing only.
Securing solo missions for the next little while — and ensuring I don’t end up in the classroom.
I can’t get preoccupied with my history, no matter how much my family and the town will try to rope me into their drama. Again.
And I most definitely cannot be distracted by the batty lady with sparkling eyes, cheeky mouth, and no-bullshit attitude.
She, with her nose ring and cranberry lips, needs to stay the hell away from me.
Once we’ve landed, the pilot leaves the small cabin with a smile. “We made it.” Her surprise is shocking, but I try not to let it get to me. “Storm is rolling in, so you better be quick about it.”
“Thanks,” I grumble.
Raya rolls her shoulders back, and she tries to be tough, but the vein on her forehead is trembling. Part of me wants to give her a hard time for being a chicken. The other part of me wants to wrap her up in my arms and reassure her that it’ll be all right.
I’ve got no clue where that comes from, but I beat it back like a kid who gets a lump of coal on Christmas morning.
For fuck’s sake. Enough with the Christmas stuff, Klaus. You’re better than that.
“Director Cooper told me you know how to get to the village from here?” The pilot forms it as a question, unsure what to do with the information.
I answer with a vague head nod, but of course, Raya hears the exchange and crosses her arms. “Sorry, are you telling me that you know where this mysterious Santa village is? And what? I’m just supposed to take your word for it that you can bring us there safely and in one piece?”
I keep my face an unreadable mask, but Raya isn’t done. She goes on. “Seriously. How can you know where we’re going? Do you get a map? I didn’t. I’d like to examine it before we head out.”
The pilot chuckles. “Do you have any idea who Klaus is?” she asks. I give her the most threatening death glare I can muster, but she misses it entirely. How many people know my secret? Alyce sure didn’t uphold our whole secrecy deal. “Klaus here is from Christmas Town.”
Raya’s head snaps in my direction. Her big hazel eyes nearly pop right out of her head with pure jubilation. “Is this for real?”
I don’t respond.
“Oh, sweet echolocation. The big grumpy badass is actually from Christmas Town? You. A reindeer. From Christmas Town.” She doesn’t even try to contain her giggles. “Why doesn’t everyone know about this?”
“Because it’s my own personal business, and I don’t like to talk about it.”
“I don’t know that you’ll have much choice after this assignment, Blitzen.”
My vision goes red at the sound of the nickname. “Do. Not. Call. Me. That.”
“You know, you’re pretty much the king of monosyllabic conversations. You speak in full sentences, technically speaking, but you punctuate each word with a pause. It’s the strangest thing.”
“It’s not strange. It’s by design. My link to Christmas Town is strictly on a need-to-know basis. You’re sworn to secrecy.”
“By who?” she shoots back, relishing this moment way too much. The vein in her forehead pretty much winks at me.
For one insane second, I almost lean over to shut her up with my mouth. I bet her lips taste like cranberries. They sure are red enough for it. I stuff my hands into my pockets to keep from reaching out to Raya and doing something we will both definitely fucking regret.
“You two are gonna have so much fun together,” the pilot cackles on the way back into her so-called craft. “Happy tidings and all that good stuff.”
Without sparing Raya another look, I lumber over to the small little hangar. The walls are made of sturdy concrete, but even they seem to shake and shimmy in the strong northern wind. Using the sleigh all the way to town is going to suck. It’ll be cold and windy.
Raya will be sharing a very narrow seat with me. With any luck, there will be two blankets in the sleigh because I sure don’t feel like sharing my close personal space with her.
Not now. Not ever.
I’ll take my chances with hypothermia.
The sleigh is bright red with a black leather runner covered with a thick plaid blanket. The eight non-shifter reindeer huff and move their hooves through the thick snow as Raya and I pile our things at our feet. I know exactly how the animals and their sleigh got here, but I’m not offering Raya that information. If she has any questions, she can bug one of the locals when we arrive. I’m not going to explain anything or interact with the town any more than I need to.
“Family of yours?” She juts her chin toward the reindeer.
Of course, that’s what she asks.That mouth of her is quirked up in a sly smirk, and I don’t know if I want to dish the diss right back or kiss her quiet.
Probably shouldn’t do either of those.
Instead, I choose to ignore her.
Raya rolls her eyes, clicking her tongue. “You’re gonna need some kind of sense of humor if you’re going to be a reindeer shifter in Christmas Town this time of year.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that I’m all too familiar with the village, but I don’t. It would only invite more questions, and I’m not feeling chatty at all. It’s colder than a snowman’s ball sac. I forgot how damn freezing it gets here during the holidays.
Only one of the reasons I left and never returned.
Please, do not let Mom and Dad know I’m on my way.
That’s the very last thing I need. I don’t want Nosy Raya to know anything about me, my family, or the reasons why I left them behind the second I was old enough to head out on my own.
Really, when you tell people you hate Christmas, they look at you like you’ve got horns. Not the antlers of a reindeer. No. Some real satanic ones.
No one wants to believe that someone can actually hate a holiday that is all about love, joy, and giving.
These people seem to forget that it’s actually not the season of giving but the season of lies.
Seriously.
It’s the time of year where everyone pretends to like each other just long enough to overeat and overdrink after overspending.
My best Christmas memories are all on a beach somewhere, drunk off my ass. The hotter, the more secluded, the better. If that makes me hateful, then so be it. My family sure thinks it makes me villainous to hate Christmas.
“Are you going to tell me how a reindeer from Christmas Town ended up as a FUC agent?”
“No.”
Raya chuckles softly. “How long is the ride into town?”
“Long.”
“Right. How long? Long enough for me to needle all of the information I want out of you?”
I ignore her and climb onto the sleigh. The sound of her laughter is soft and musical. Hell, it’s almost pleasing. I shake the thought right out of my head and focus on checking the reins.
“Your name is Klaus, and you lived in Santa Claus’ town. Is he your godfather? Are you named for him? You’ve gotta gimme something. I’m dying to know how any of this happened.”
“No.”
“Oh, come on. We’re partners.”
“We are not partners, and unless you’re willing to lay down all of your family’s reactions to the Bloody Doctor, I suggest you drop the whole twenty-questions act.”
Raya arches a brow at me, unfazed. “You think I won’t talk about my aunt for hours? I will. I studied the hell out of her crimes. The way I see it, the more I know about monsters like her, the more equipped I am to deal with them. Family or not, evil is evil.”
“Agreed,” I grumble back with no further explanation.
That shuts Raya up, but I can see the wheels in her head spinning with her next question.
This is going to be the longest two weeks of my life.